Saturday, November 12, 2011
It has been a VERY long time since I have been on here, and in a state of mind to get my exercise and health back in line. Since I have been on here last, I have moved to another state, started all over - new job, new house, new city. The only thing that stayed the same, unfortunately, was my all out denial of what I was doing to myself health wise. I stopped going to the gym, stopped eating what I should be, and stopped listening to the little voice that kept telling me to get back on track. For awhile, it was easy to pretend I was happy and where I wanted to be. I am not sure when it happened, but I realized how unhappy I am right now. The new city is growing on me, I love my job, but I can't shake the feeling that I am unhappy. For awhile I thought I was homesick, but I think it boils down to I am uncomfortable with what I look like and how I feel. I have let myself go and I am ashamed of what I look like right now. It's hard to be in a city with great night life and not notice how out of place I feel because of how I look. I finally realize that I want to go out and enjoy myself, make new friends and love who I am. In order to do that I need to make some changes. Starting with getting back on this site and finding the help and guidance that all of the groups provide. I am also planning on starting right now with a new me and a new beginning. I know I won't be perfect, but I will be DOING MY BEST and that's all I can ask of myself. Here goes nothing!