Thursday, November 10, 2011
Okay, let’s get this meeting started….
Who would like to go first?
Hesitantly, I raised my hand and stood up. Nervously wiping the palms of my hands on my thighs, I cleared my throat and said,
“My name is Heather….and I have a problem. I’m…well, uhm…I’m sneaky, but not in a good way.”
I paused, not really sure if I could get the rest of it out. I saw the stained glass window over the others’ heads, in the window of the church’s meeting room. It was a picture of a snake wrapped around a nice, red, juicy-looking apple.
‘How fitting,’ I thought, ‘forbidden fruit.’ I smiled and shook my head ruefully, knowing that continuing was the only way I could get past it.
“I sneak food,” I said with a sigh, “I go behind my family and friends’ backs and sneak food. Sometimes it’s the good stuff….fruit, veggies, nuts or even yogurt or cheese. More often than not, however, it’s chocolate, cookies, cake, gummy treats…..the BETTER stuff.”
I chuckled softly and stopped to look around at the others. They nodded in agreement, knowing exactly where I was coming from.
“I’m not always certain WHY I do it. Heck, sometimes I’m barely aware that I AM doing it. Obviously I know I shouldn’t be eating, especially since I am rarely hungry when I sneak food, or I wouldn’t hide it. But I’m not sure why I turn to hiding it instead of just having one piece and moving on, ya know? It’s like one piece isn’t enough and hiding it is almost a game for me. It gives me a rush to see how close I can be to someone and NOT have them catch me at it.”
“Sometime I do it out of boredom. Sometimes I do it merely to sabotage my healthy habits and sometimes I just want to TASTE one…..but it’s never just one, is it? It’s one…..then two…..and before you know it, you’ve scarfed down ten of whatever ‘forbidden fruit’ you’ve chosen that time.” With a derisive chuckle I passed a hand over my face and continued…..
“I’ve never really admitted it to anyone before….that I sneak food…..this is a really big step for me. I hope it’s the first one in a series of right ones. I really need to get myself back to where I need to be. Healthy….for my kids….for my husband….for MYSELF.”
Giving each person a big smile, I said, “Thanks for being there. To listen when I need to vent. To hold me up when I feel like falling. For helping me to celebrate the victories, no matter how big or small they may be. Without you all in my corner, there would’ve been a TKO months ago.”
I sat back down and listened to the other members’ tell about themselves. I actually think this may be the right place for me.
[Is this story true? No, but it should be. Is the problem real? Unfortunately, all too real. I do sneak food, at pretty much every opportunity. And I need to stop. For my health and my children’s future health. I need to set a better example for THEM to follow. Now, who would like to speak next……]