Sunday, November 06, 2011
Today I ran with a smile on my face and a ring on my finger.
I had the most amazing run today. I haven't run outside since probably June . I had gotten used to the gym and never stopped to change what I was doing. I told myself get it done at the gym and go home. Some days I would think about running but realize it had just rained so the trail would be muddy, or it was too cold. Today I had 40 minutes to spare and instead of driving past my normal trail, I drove into the parking lot. The sun was brilliant and every tree was a million different colors. I ran 4 miles in 37 minutes and it felt amazing. I kept telling myself "I am strong. I am strong and FIT!" to feel my feel pushing me along. To know I've done the entire 6 miles so
4 was like an appetizer. I now cannot wait to do it again.
It's a strange place to be in. To be so proud of your fitness that it makes you smile while you run. It's strange to love the HEALTH of my body but hate how I look. It's part of accepting myself I suppose. Learning to love what you can get yourself to accept. I don't have to try to love being in shape and feeling good. I have to try to love what I see as an imperfect body that will just never be as thin as I want it to be.
I'm really happy where I am right now and it shows through every aspect of my life. I am more passionate about exercise than I ever was. I am debating becoming a beachbody coach to help other people discover how wonderful healthy living is. And I am at peace with where I am in my life. Yes I want to be done with college but this time is when the good things happen. My boyfriend of now almost 4 years proposed. I of course said yes and what flooded me was a feeling of security. I dont
Doubt his love. I don't doubt us. I don't doubt that I can keep the weight off. For me I never think of it as I am keeping it off. It's gone. I just workout to stay fit and healthy and eat well to fuel that lifestyle. And I'm in a place where I can say I am truly truly happy.
I hope to read everyone's updates and catch up. I am on facebook btw. Maureen Bioni. =]