Friday, November 04, 2011
It's been a new adventure for me in that I've quietly become part of an open marriage since the beginning of the summer. Only one person in my workplace knows, and nobody in girl scouts or browncoats is privy to that information either. This is really my first public "outing," and the Spark will probably be as public as I can be for some time. I've been doing a lot of self-evaluation and personal growth - though there's plenty more to do.
In my June blog I talked about a writing event and goal setting as an enjoyable thing in video games. I've really cut out video games and most TV over this summer. I had a stint where I watched 3 seasons of Star Trek Voyager, but that was two weeks of checking out over an impending breakup.
My first boyfriend after my husband and I decided to try this was a huge learning experience. Met him on OK Cupid. It was a physically intense situation with a person who seems stuck at age 16 or 17 despite being a divorcee with a 3 year old cherub. I didn't ever meet his daughter, but she was pretty much all he talked about.
By the time I went to Poly Camp this summer we were pretty much over, though he didn't see it and I was trying really hard to be what he needed. Which was silly and frankly impossible. I broke up with him a month ago and told myself I needed to really reevaluate why I was doing this and what *I* needed.
So of course tried to take some me time, but, as so often happens when you firmly tell life you just need to be quiet and reflect on things, life exploded.
My department shrunk from 5 to 3 people in time for a billing migration without proper retraining and losing a great deal of functionality. We went from being a varied department with lots of calls and topics to discuss to a small call volume concerned mainly with billing. I do dislike billing but having a job is important and everything looks like layoff central. Got a new remote boss (Wisconsin) a week ago who claims otherwise, but we'll see.
And my husband and I met a couple at Poly Camp that we've stayed in touch with, and despite the fact that we're PDX-based and they live in Seattle, things have gotten powerfully romantic. We've been alternating weekend visits since early October. They're coming to our house for the weekend tomorrow, actually.
Meanwhile I'm really wrestling with seeing my DH blossom and fall in love. He's made several strong friendships, one so far romatic but two other possibilities too. He's also started a band, and loves it. It's heady and makes me feel a little bit like yesterday's goods sometimes to see his so very in love with life, but mostly I'm very happy for him. He's very in love with me to, and is taking time to reassure me of that.