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My Butt Hurts & Other Good Things. 1/7

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Wednesday, November 02, 2011

My butt is extremely displeased with me right now. Last night, in yoga, the instructor said "find your sit bones and root down into them." I think I heard a chortle from my sit bones when she said that. Or was it a scream? In reality, it was probably my butt saying @#$% you, since I presume my butt has the same potty mouth (pardon the pun) that I do.

My butt HURTS. Spinning, which I really like, is turning my butt into a source of pain and anguish. To be clear, my butt has never really been a source of sweetness and light, and it was producing death clouds yesterday, but it's never hurt like this. It's that seat. I've seen larger bananas. I've sat on more comfortable bricks. I think the Spinning seat people are sadists, gleefully designing smaller seats with less and less padding, pretending that Lance said it should be that way and we should all just shut up and be like Lance.

I went to the bike store and found the most padded shorts they offer. I about had an aneurysm and a heart attack at the same time when I realized they were $60, but I bought them. My butt made me do it. My butt threatened to do all sorts of unseemly and embaraassing things if I didn't put my debit card on the counter right that second and buy those extortion-priced diaper shorts. I did it.

It's slowly getting better. Each class my butt is a teeny-weeny-tiny-increment-of-
pain better than previous. At this rate I should be pain free while Spinning in a year or so. My friends assure me that it won't take that long, but they are all jealous of me and my 265 pound butt that is begging for a bag of frozen peas, so they can't be trusted. No, they aren't really jealous, I made that part up.

My favorite part about spinning? Yoga! Spinning means I can go to yoga every day without sacrificing my goals. Part of my problem for the last 6 (8?) weeks is my new-found addiction to yoga. But yoga doesn't burn calories the way an hour on the treadmill or a spinning class does. Result? I'm bendy and happy and yoga glowy and maybe more toned, but I haven't lost a pound.

Yoga is doing great things for me emotionally, so I'm unwilling to give it up. Solution? Morning cardio. Swimming, Spinning and Treadmill, Oh My!

I was dry today at Spinning and didn't realize it. I was feeling kind of blah until I was half way through class and bam, I was feeling better than I had at the beginning and sweat started pouring out of me. I think it was the bottle and a half of water I had chugged hitting my system. That also explains why I felt off at yoga last night. DRINK! Must drink ample fluids. Doh!

So today is day one of project get my bruised butt in gear. Day 1 of my self imposed 7 day challenge. Someone recommended blogging each of those days, and I thought that was a good idea. It isn't like my fingers hurt, just my nether regions.

So far I'm doing great on the Great Jenn Reboot. 100 calorie almond pack. 1.25 Cups green peas, the starchy yummy ones. Cup of decaf Earl Grey (even though it is nearly impossible to get fantastic Earl Grey outside of England. I think this means I need to take a vacation to England! Shiny things. I digress. Oops. Sorry).

Anybody have one of those inflatable hemorrhoid cushions laying around that I can borrow? :)


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MODESTASHEGETS 11/21/2011 11:27PM

    Ah, the internal monologue demons. I know them well. Congrats on the smaller swim suit size.

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STRENGTH2BEATMS 11/21/2011 3:40PM

    I know EXACTLY what you mean. When I took a spin class, my butt and inner thighs were hurting me for a while. I didn't know if I should continue with my butt being sore, but realized it gets better and there's no reason to put it aside. thanks for the laugh!! I am glad I am not the only one who experiences this kind of pain

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TEAGUE1612 11/8/2011 3:42AM

    Haha! Great Jenn Reboot. I like it. I could do with something along those lines me thinketh!

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LINDAJ0621 11/5/2011 2:18PM

    Glad to report my butt never hurts and I spin 2-3 times per week. However, my crotch area can become uncomfortable and my quads scream like crazy if I try to take classes 2 days in a row. Thank goodness, because spinning is my passion and I literally cannot stand to do any other cardio except the elliptical.
emoticon Good Luck!

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FUNNYSUNNY123 11/4/2011 10:39PM

    I'm a bit ADD and I loved this blog. (Oooh, shiny things.) I so understand.

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    Priceless....but so true

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KPETSCHE 11/4/2011 7:27PM

    I think I know for sure what NOT to do - spinning!! I have trouble on my Schwinn AirDyne. I love reading your blogs, Jenn. Thanks for the laughs.

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CRUZIN2LOSE 11/4/2011 7:06PM

    Thanks for the laughs and the great perspective on life. Maybe I'll even give spinning another try... Or Not! Have you tried Vinyassa (flow) yoga? You can get a great cardio burn going as well as all the other yoga benefits. Give it a try if you haven't already.
Have fun out there and continue to enjoy the journey! emoticon

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JULIAANDERSON 11/4/2011 5:04PM

    this is so funny that i found your blog today, I was just complaining to my hubby that may butt hurt so much from exercise that I can't even sit down!!!

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-CORAL- 11/4/2011 2:19PM

    I get worried that riding a bike too much would "toughen" the skin in that area, and well, I don't really like the thought of a leathery crotch. So I am kinda done biking lol.

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LITTLELILITH 11/4/2011 2:04PM

  I think you need something like this!:

Or any removable gel-padded seat cushion. I found tons of them, from amazon to walmart, for around $15.

I, too, laughed out loud about their being bananas bigger than those seat cushions! I use the stationary bike at my gym for portions of my cardio, and those seats are evil (they make my butt, my crotch, and everything in between hurt!) emoticon I have resigned myself to only enjoying the recumbent bike, because it's the only one that doesn't hurt my butt.

Comment edited on: 11/4/2011 2:06:03 PM

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LODESTONE 11/4/2011 1:43PM

    After my first spinning class, I couldn't walk for a week. No one told me that when the instructor told you to kick the wheel up a quarter to half turn, that I could pretend! I had a few potty mouth comments for them! From there I progressed to getting my own bike for home. Never bought the padded shorts, but I did pilfer the gel padded seat from my hubby's bike. Usually, I do a 20-30 minute workout. Anything longer (from following the insane video that came with said bike) would burn the house down from the flaming language skills I have perfected over the years.
I so sympathize with the sore butt. Are you planning to do this every day, just to enjoy yoga without feeling like you've compromised?

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JEANNETTE59 11/4/2011 9:26AM

  Homemade or fat free reduces sodium broth, before dinner. Dress it up with herbs of your choice. I love chicken broth with a small amount of lemon juice and freshly ground pepper. Be sure to experiment with spices like curry powder, garlic and basil, etc. Serve hot enough that you have to eat or it slowly. It takes the edge off your hunger and tastes great.

Love your blog Jenn emoticon

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SURLYGIRL 11/4/2011 8:42AM

    I don't know ... I was spinning 1 - 2x a week for a year and never got used to the seat. I used to wear the padded shorts (yup I paid $60 for mine too) AND use a padded seat cushion ($15 from Walmart). I had to stop spinning b/c it was affecting my tailbone which no one could explain b/c I wasn't seating on my tailbone! A few hours after spinning I was in so much pain I couldn't even walk upright sometimes! So I stopped spinning and my tailbone recovered.

Hey Jen - Have you ever tried Full Body Circuits ? You combine Cardio with Resistance and your metabolism stays fired up for up to 24 hours afterward. It's a great workout and a great time saver.

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STPATTISON 11/4/2011 1:31AM

    Oh, I started crying silently (happy laughing crying)because I am at work,"I've seen larger bananas. I've sat on more comfortable bricks." Then I needed tissues and people thought I was upset...........
Happy hemorrhoid cushion hunting

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MISSLISA1973 11/4/2011 12:19AM

    You are so cute! Your way with words always makes me laugh! emoticon

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NDKARIKARI 11/3/2011 11:44PM

    you are absolutely hilarious and correct! I took one spinning class and my butt was in pain during the biking, and for days after. I didn't pause because of the spinning, I kept pausing because even with padding, my booty was on fire!

Best of luck and I hope it gets less and less painful. In the meantime, I am inspired by your dedication!

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CM_GARDNER78 11/3/2011 11:44PM

    HAHA Oh my aching bum! HAHA Love it!!!

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COOKETHECOOK 11/3/2011 9:36PM

    Haha You are so right about the butt pain. I a really short, so getting on the bike to begin with is rough, and then my big butt almost falls off the seat. It's so painful I stopped doing it. I might take it up again once I'm a little more in shape. You rock for sticking with it!

PS: You can probably order the Earl tea online. :) emoticon

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CHANGING-TURTLE 11/3/2011 8:44PM


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    I was thinking of taking up I'm glad I read this!

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PROVERBS31JULIA 11/3/2011 6:33PM

    I'm so glad you wrote this, so I know to go buy me a tractor seat first , to cradle my sorry butt with a very wide seat before I ever take leave of my senses and go to spinning class. I'm hoping tractor seats are cheaper than $60 padded diaper shorts.

but oh yea, I like Yoga too.


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REENIE131 11/3/2011 6:30PM

    I swore that giving birth twice before I took up serious cycling toughened me up for the 50-100 mile bike tours I use to do. Not that I'm suggesting having a baby for training purposes, that would be....impractical :)

You'll get use to it, your butt will forgive you. Really. I swear.

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JEANNETTE59 11/3/2011 4:50PM

  Enjoy your Yoga Bliss you sure deserve it, while you suffer through "Battered Butt Syndrome."

emoticon bottoms-up

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SHIRE33 11/3/2011 3:59PM

    I'm off right this minute to spin class. I've been doing it a month today, and I can SO RELATE! I told my instructor that first night that Thursdays are being crossed Right Off The List of times my Hub can get frisky. :D

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WELSTEACH 11/3/2011 2:45PM

    Reboot? or Rebutt! emoticon

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NAVYMOM133 11/3/2011 2:44PM

    "I've seen larger bananas." Ah-HAHAHAHA!!!
Good for you, rock this up-coming 7-day challenge!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEATHERSTEW 11/3/2011 2:00PM

    Uh, Hi! It's your stalker here.

BUY A GEL SEAT! Walmart $12. Your butt AND your HOO-HA will thank you!

George C. Stalk

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LADYVOLSFAN1954 11/3/2011 1:56PM

    My butt hurts just reading about your spinning experience. Mine already hurts from less padding in the region which is good since that means I'm losing it somewhere. Oh yeah I found bones I didn't know I had too. Good luck on the spinning! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 11/3/2011 1:55PM

    You know, they make gel seat covers too... I'm surprised the bike shop where you got the shorts didn't mention it. (Or did you not tell them you are suffering from Spinning Butt?)

When I started I needed both the padded shorts AND the gel seat cover. I weighed about 270 at that point.

Hang in there. It DOES get better.

P.S. Of COURSE everyone's butt has a potty mouth. Just think about it.

Comment edited on: 11/3/2011 1:56:12 PM

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HHB4181 11/3/2011 1:44PM

    the seat is brutal at first, but mine doesn't hurt anymore....?
maybe your butt is more sensitive? you should have a little chat with your butt about that....

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THEIS58 11/3/2011 1:33PM


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BRIAN36 11/3/2011 1:17PM

    I think you get butt calouses from spin class after awhile and it doesn't hurt anymore. I haven't checked, mind you. It's just a theory.

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BRITTHORT9 11/3/2011 12:50PM

  Nice blog! I have always wanted to try Yoga but I love spinning!!

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LUEYGIRL 11/3/2011 12:33PM

    You can also get a gel seat cover you can bring to spinning class and put on your bike. It helps!

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JOSEPH_I 11/3/2011 11:24AM

  Thanks for sharing, love your sense of humour. I've attended one Yoga session and didn't continue.

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    LOL keep it up!

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SHFELKEY 11/3/2011 10:48AM

    I love your blogs. Keeping it real. emoticon

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BABYGIRL383236 11/3/2011 10:47AM

  Good Luck!!! You can make it through one step at a time. I am going to try spinning. Thanks to your post I will bring a cushion for the ride home. emoticon

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RUSSELLORAMA 11/3/2011 10:37AM

    I gave spinning a try and my nethers NEVER stopped hurting! I hope it's different for you. :)

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LOSINGITALL4ME 11/3/2011 10:34AM

    I needed a laugh this morning! Great!!

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PAWSINAZ 11/3/2011 10:26AM


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ERINCD 11/3/2011 10:23AM

    Your post cracked me up. Good luck!

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JLEMUS1 11/3/2011 10:13AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TWANGGIRL 11/3/2011 10:07AM

    I love your blogs! You're a hoot! And very inspirational. . . keep up the good work! (and don't listen to your butt!)

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CBACH71 11/3/2011 9:52AM

    Keep it up! Your butt will thank you later!

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ENCY23 11/3/2011 9:31AM

    I just love taking a ride on your stream of consciousness! Just love it!!! :)

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COWGIRL888 11/3/2011 9:23AM

    Potty mouth... heehee! emoticon

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CINNAMONCAT9 11/3/2011 8:42AM

    Yep, spinning is goooood.......ouch, I do understand your pain.

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JJJJ14 11/3/2011 8:10AM

    Thank you for the laugh this morning! Hope your butt feels better soon! emoticon

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