Tuesday, November 01, 2011
I hate the way I look. Through the years of mental and physical abuse I have gained 110 pounds because of emotional eating.!
I avoid going out in public as often as possible because I feel so gross about my body. If I do go out I keep my head down and try not to make eye contact. Being this overweight is physically and mentally painful. I can't fit into certain seats, (I have even broken chairs) I have to walk sideways through a turnstiles, get tired and out of breath easy, just standing up talking to someone hurts my back, I leave an indentation in my bed (anyone looking at it would think it is one of those foam mattresses!), can't cross my legs, men look the other way, and worse thing of all, I love the rides at Disney but I am scared of trying to get on a rides and be told I am to fat.
I want to lose weight, not only for my health but for my self-confidence. But to lose weight I need to exercise, but exercise hurts. So I am stuck.
But there is hope! Sparkpeople! Through SparkPeople I have been blessed with so many kind friends offering tons of support! I started this journey last year. It has been filled with obstacles and setbacks. But I can not give up. I still have hope. SparkPeople is that hope!
I am getting my Spark back this week!