Eat, eat eat, eat eat eat eat.. ugh
Monday, October 31, 2011
I could eat from morning to night. Something is up, and I don't know what. I've even considered buying hypnotic tapes to listen to at night. I just can't seem to eat enough food to be satisfied. It's not the hunger, I know that, but I can't pinpoint what it is, and every time I'm having a good day, where I'm doing excellent, something happens (usually at home with the hubby). He says that we will start back up at the end of November - after my bday and thanksgiving. I have been trying to curb things now anyway. It's just so dam hard, and now that it's cold, I want to eat and hibernate. My whole body is aching and screaming in various pains, mostly from this cold weather - and it's not even winter here yet. My legs stiffen up, mostly my ankles and feet wont bend when they are cold. My knees don't bother me much, mostly my ankles, hands, elbows, and neck. I'm rearranging my computer room again so I can open up my treadmill in there. I've been colder than previous years though, it's so weird. And cold makes me want to sleep. So I'm going to really try and get some exercise in to help me warm up and stay limber, it just seems so difficult. I'm taking extra vit-d now that I'm not out in the warm sun, melatonin so I fall to sleep perfectly, magnesium to help with the migraines. My doc gave me provigil for the chronic fatigue stuff/sleep apnea stuff - but I don't like the way I feel on that. I'd rather take a half a five hour energy. The provigil is very weird and makes me very add/adhd, ranging from hyper focus to shifting can't focus on one thing. I even lost my wallet, forgot my work badge, etc. on the stuff. No thank you. I slept almost the whole weekend and still feel tired today. And it's not from thyroid or anything they can pinpoint as the cause. Just tellin me I have MS, Central & Obstructive Apnea, and that is causing chronic fatigue syndrome. Gee thanks. So Eat & Sleep is all I wanna do. Well, I'm forcing myself to not give in. And I have three miniature tangerines at my desk for when I want to eat. I've portioned out everything for work, it's just so hard.