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    LOIDAEG   8,104
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1 pound left to go and these are the thoughts running through my head...

Sunday, October 30, 2011

I only have one pound left to lose until ultimate goal weight. I find it really hard to believe. One year ago I was barely struggling to get by with my healthy (healthier) eating and exercising (3 times a week only at the time). I was overwhelmed with the whole exercising and eating healthier thing. I thought I would never "get there" wherever there was at the time.

I remember hopping on the treadmill and going for my 30 minute walk (yes that's all I did for awhile 3x a week!!!) and I remember asking myself "I wonder what I'm going to look like ONE year from now?"

And here I am almost a year later wondering the exact same thing about me but for NEXT year.

And then again here I am a year later looking THE BEST that I have ever looked in my life!

Yes folks. I have never been skinny in my entire life. I have always been on the heavy side. Never fit. Never liking exercise. Never liking the idea of eating "rabbit food". I never understood those with this kind of lifestyle nor did I ever want to understand it. Now I understand it completely and I love living this life! I love exercising! I love looking beautiful! I love feeling GREAT about myself!

My life has completely changed and has been turned upside down over the past year.

Everything in moderation is key. So what, I had some chocolate bars or a donut this weekend? It won't affect me big time. I WON'T gain the 75 pounds back in one night. Water retention? Sure. Bloat? sure. Fat gain in one day? NO! Definitely not. I just get back on track the next day and do my best. It's hard but the more you do it the easier it gets. Trust me. :-)

I also like taking care of myself now. I do my hair on a daily basis and my makeup every single day!!! Yes! Every single morning I do my makeup! I have to! It's a part of me now just like exercise is. Clothes? Dressing nicer? Yeah. That's a part of me as well. I dress how I feel. Great! So what's wrong with that? Nothing. I find nothing wrong with taking care of myself. I have been a bit selfish on this journey of mine this past year but if I hadn't of been I would NOT be here right now. It's important to take care of yourself. Inside AND out!

Here are some thoughts running through my head as I'm approaching my one year on the Spark.

emoticonHow did I get here??? (not just to the spark but in general)

emoticonHave I seriously lost this much weight already??? I find it so hard to believe sometimes!

emoticonI've lost 75 pounds yet I feel so fat sometimes anyway. I wonder if I'll ever get over it!

emoticonI really AM beautiful aren't I? How come I don't feel beautiful sometimes?

emoticonFriends? *sigh* I wish I had some. Making friends is hard. Making a good friend is even harder. I would absolutely LOVE having a best girl friend. Hmm maybe someday. I gotta keep hoping right? Making friends takes time. Making good ones takes even longer I suppose.

emoticonWill the flab around my legs and arms ever go away?

emoticonWill I ever feel comfortable enough to wear tank tops in public? Shorts in public? Will I ever have the legs for it?

emoticonWill my husband see me with new eyes? Ever!?? I think he still sees fat me. Overweight me. He doesn't say anything nice about me and how I look. He doesn't say anything mean either. Just nothing period. Will he ever notice me? What will it take? Hmm... I have already introduced him to my personal trainer and have told him about guys looking at me. Still nothing clicking inside his head. LOL!

emoticonWill I ever be able to really be an instructor or personal trainer? DO I really have what it takes? Truly? Really?

emoticonAm I likable? Would you ever approach me in real life? I've always been told I look a little stuck up in person. Well OK ONE person in my life told me but it made me wonder if I really do look that way in real life. lol I'm not! I hate how people judge books by the cover. I'm trying my absolute best to NOT do the same thing. I mean... do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Right?

emoticonGoodness gracious me... do I have the job yet or what??? I talked to the manager today. It was a bit chaotic today though. My kids were fighting on the way out and well...yeah. Not pretty. She was a bit busy too. But at least she knows I'm anxious to know what the verdict is. Do I have a job or not?? How long is it going to take???

emoticon Am I crazy for doing three workouts in one day? Yeah maybe I am a little but taking two days off does something to ya. :) Makes ya crazy!

OK well yeah that's a lot of stuff running through my head. I wish I could turn my brain off at night. :-P I finally have a TV in my bedroom though! Yeah! I haven't had one in there for years! Since I was like 20 or something I think.

I have to go get ready for spinning soon. I'm thinking I'll come in a few minutes late. I mean, I AM doing a bootcamp at 6. Crazy me!!!

Zumba was so much fun in our costumes though! Yeah I was pretty moist at the end of it and yeah I'm gonna do it again tomorrow morning :-) Should be fun! Being Halloween and all!

Well gotta go see about eating something. I'm going to need some energy I think!

~L
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YIWEN39 10/30/2011 10:24PM

    That's awesome :-) Congrats on all counts :-) emoticon

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APIRLRAIN888 10/30/2011 9:42PM

    Awe..hubby just like u for u! Show him bef after, have u showed him, because living with u it's hardtoo see changes. It like how spouse is last to know if othervis getting frail.takes outsider bc spouse sees everyday....and can't see the change


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LEN_VERSION32 10/30/2011 8:20PM

    You are beautiful! Please be proud of what you have accomplished! It will all fall into place!

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TAICHIDANCER 10/30/2011 8:20PM

    Well, I'm sure your husband notices, I just wish he'd say something. But maybe he loves you for who you are, not what size you are. That would be nice, right? Keep up the good work and congrats.

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JUDYAMK 10/30/2011 8:03PM

    What a great ride you had in getting where you are. Yes it may have bumpy at times,but you met the bend in the roads & kept on twisting & turning with each knew bend. I am proud of what you have accomplished. Maybe your husband is scared of losing you & he clams up about how you look. ( I left you a rather larger message on you Oct 22nd blog ) take care & love your self for what you have done
Judy

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OJIBWEEQUAY 10/30/2011 6:45PM

    AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are a beauty!!! ANd I would so be your workout buddy!!! Give me some motivation!!!! emoticon

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