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    BILLIEK17   16,636
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Just Checking In....


Saturday, October 29, 2011

You know, I just realized I found SparkPeople about a year ago. Iíd like to say that Iím thinner, healthier, my life is perfect etc. but thatís just not the case. I actually weight MORE now than I did when I started. HOWEVER, (and this is a big however), I think Iím more at peace with myself. Iím learning (and itís such a slow process) that my weight just CANNOT be the barometer by which I base my happiness.
I kind of feel like a big old lurker on this website. I read your blogs, follow your stories, and in so many ways gain insights and feel connected to all of you. Itís hard for me to post blogs because I feel like I have nothing new to add to what all of you say. So today I just want to say hi again. Today Iím feeling good. Iím not at my goal weight anymore but I ran 5 miles on the treadmill yesterday. I had a weekís vacation and TOTALLY indulged in food and alcohol--but not everyday AND managed to sneak in some hikes and exercise. Somehow, someway, I hope to find that illusive place of moderation.
Until then, I keep showing up and keep trying to improve my thinking. I know it all starts there--not with the scale. The fact that I can even feel happy on a day when my weight is so far from where I want it, well thatís actually improvement. I donít want to WAIT to be happy for that perfect number. I want to be happy now and just strive to be healthy and feel better......
Iím feeling grateful today for all of you and all of the people in my life who support my efforts.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
HIPPICHICK1 11/3/2011 8:50AM

    Your blog is for you and you alone. Don't worry of someone has already said it before. Maybe you need to type out your OWN words, say it out loud or read it again and again in order to understand yourself better.

"Somehow, someway, I hope to find that illusive place of moderation."
Moderation is not elusive. It comes with PRACTICE.

emoticon on the 5 miles on the treadmill!!

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APIRLRAIN888 10/29/2011 4:48PM

    Me to more than start but fitter congrats

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MEADSBAY 10/29/2011 12:32PM

    We all learn from each other-
our successes and our failures.
Don't be afraid to share the little things-
life is made up of 99% small things.
I have recently come to terms with loving myself,
and accepting myself as:
PERFECTLY IMPERFECT!
Rock yourself in the cradle of lovingkindness.

emoticon

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 10/29/2011 12:17PM

    Well from reading where you're at - it sounds like a success to me. To be at peace is perhaps one of the most important things in life.

It's not all about the numbers on the scale. I agree that by reading other blogs we learn and it's nice to see we're not alone.

Kudos on your emoticon

Have a wonderful weekend!!

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