Saturday, October 29, 2011
You know, I just realized I found SparkPeople about a year ago. Iíd like to say that Iím thinner, healthier, my life is perfect etc. but thatís just not the case. I actually weight MORE now than I did when I started. HOWEVER, (and this is a big however), I think Iím more at peace with myself. Iím learning (and itís such a slow process) that my weight just CANNOT be the barometer by which I base my happiness.
I kind of feel like a big old lurker on this website. I read your blogs, follow your stories, and in so many ways gain insights and feel connected to all of you. Itís hard for me to post blogs because I feel like I have nothing new to add to what all of you say. So today I just want to say hi again. Today Iím feeling good. Iím not at my goal weight anymore but I ran 5 miles on the treadmill yesterday. I had a weekís vacation and TOTALLY indulged in food and alcohol--but not everyday AND managed to sneak in some hikes and exercise. Somehow, someway, I hope to find that illusive place of moderation.
Until then, I keep showing up and keep trying to improve my thinking. I know it all starts there--not with the scale. The fact that I can even feel happy on a day when my weight is so far from where I want it, well thatís actually improvement. I donít want to WAIT to be happy for that perfect number. I want to be happy now and just strive to be healthy and feel better......
Iím feeling grateful today for all of you and all of the people in my life who support my efforts.