(The food. Not the rocker from the late 70s...because that would be cruel.)

I am one of those people who gets complimented for keeping it all together when the world around me is falling apart. I'm the strong one, they say, but I'd really like to try loosing it. Just once.

My life has been over-the-top with stress since May. I am so overwhelmed that I have days that I don't know where to start or stop anything. I know you know what I mean. We've all been there. Or maybe we haven't, but just humour me here because misery loves company.

Once when I was in Costco, I swore I heard my husband scream my name as if he was being murdered two aisles over. (Thankfully I knew I was having a crazy moment and I didn't react as one would if a murder really was taking place. THAT would be crazy. For real.) Lately I've been smelling food that doesn't exist. At first I smelled toast and so I joked that I was having a stroke. (Would I get to spend some time in a comfy bed, sedated, if I had a massive stroke?) Other times I've smelled Doritos, pancakes, and just today I swear someone in my office was cooking meatloaf. Those aren't even my favourite foods. Seriously, if I'm going to smell imaginary food, give me home made cookies and fish and chips, please. And maybe a really pungent curry. I don't like Doritos.

Oh, don't worry. I'll get through this.

The icing on the cake, though, is I have a new admin assistant. Yes, now is a good time for me to be training someone new. (Did I mention I got a promotion and a raise and more staff to cross train, too? Yep. Good timing. My boss thinks I'm awesome because I'm so strong to cope with changes at work and home at the same time.) But back to my secretary. She's an angel. EXCEPT, her idea of taking care of me is bringing me junky store-bought baking and keeping the dish on her desk full of chocolate-covered caramels. A "dealer" meets her in the parking lot every week because I won't let The Nut Man into our office. Maybe if he actually sold NUTS it would be ok. She laughs when I say that if she brings another goody into the office that I'll fire her. I fire her daily now. Dang unionized staff. They know I'm powerless to get rid of them.

So what can I do?!

I CAN take baby steps. When life overwhelms me -- as its done before -- I can keep moving forward. As I've told others before and I'm telling myself now,

Even baby steps are progress.

Pass the meat loaf. Just make mine with turkey and hold the ketchup, please.

...Pam I am