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    ELAOPET   17,616
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Thursday, October 27, 2011

I just spelled it out for myself. The reason I got fat again, the reason I have trouble picking the ball up again. So to say.
Because nothing changed.
Told myself just now, you got to do it for yourself, nobody will do it for you. And I started crying. For what!? I was not fat anymore and nothing changed. Not a thing. So much hope.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOE4LIFE 11/3/2011 3:32PM

    Huggs ya bud. Hey I am here for you. if you wanna cry, yell, cuss, laugh, vent, dance, sing, talk, chat, ramble, scream, poke (facebook), hug, be goofy, be serious, be vacant, want to hear some silly wisdom, talk about goals, talk about setbacks, talk about dinner, compare doggies, talk about clouds, talk about toe jam, talk about flowers you saw today, talk about coffee, talk about dishpan hands, whatever i am here just let me know. Send me spark mail when you feel like it. Huggs ya bud, we got ya.

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WARMSPRINGDAY 10/29/2011 9:27PM

    Losing weight will never fix our problems. But we learn a lot about ourselves on the journey, and than makes us stronger and we get more healthy in the process. So you are wrong when you say nothing changed. Yes it did - you found the strong woman inside of yourself that persevered against many odds and pushed through when the chips were down. You can do it again. She is still in there, and you are beautiful. Do it for yourself! Take a baby step today.

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CARLA-216 10/28/2011 11:25AM

    emoticon I don't know what else to say that others haven't already said. Just know I'm here, cheering for you. You've done it before and you can do it again. You know it can be hard work, but we have to choose our hard.

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-POOKIE- 10/28/2011 8:26AM

    No no... it changed and you forgot how to carry on working with the changes.

You can get them back and make them work again.

I've not given up on you and Im damn sure Im not letting YOU give up on you!

Pick yourself up, and decide what the plan is, if you need to start again simple, then do that, then add things back and back until you are again that wonderful strong woman who ran, who swum in the sea, who walked further than her dogs wanted too!

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LEXIE63 10/28/2011 7:18AM

    All I can think of to suggest is that you read back through all your blogs and try to reconnect with that positive and upbeat attitude you had. Also, reading the comments will hopefully help you realise that yes, you are the only one who can do it, but that you have also got a ton of cheerleaders here who have been supporting you every bit of the way, though the good and the bad.
I'm sorry you've had a rough few months, but take heart that this too shall pass.
How's beautiful Ela?
Hugs,
Lex xxx
emoticon

P.S. Have you tried counselling, and has anyone suggested a short course of anti-depressants. Might be worth a visit to the doctor for a chat Sweetie. :-)

Comment edited on: 10/28/2011 7:19:59 AM

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MOJO_RISIN 10/28/2011 2:16AM

    you have to take the strides that make you happy, whatever they may be. sadly losing weight isn't a magical cure that makes you feel better about everything in your life, but it's a small part that does make you feel better in your own skin by getting active and eating moderately. any time you wish you can forge ahead on the journey, just for the health of it. i am sending you much love my friend, listen to your heart, and when u feel ready start building up slowly over time to get to where you want to be. you didn't get all the surgery and put up with a terrible job to just let go and feel worse, at the same time you cannot force the river or beat yourself up over the past. it is time to take out a fresh page and start the story of you life anew, you choose your own adventure. lift yourself up, respect and honour yourself, you are a human like no other, you deserve love and admiration from yourself, you already have it from all of us! xoxo!

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LIBBYFITZ 10/27/2011 9:43PM

    A lot changed you just did not see it! A beautiful healthy body! The change was on the inside not on the outside.

Look into the mirror every day and say "I love you" to the person you are and then you will be able to move forward. When you love yourself enough to care. emoticon

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