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~a crazy few months but im back!~

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Well, here I am again. I think iv recovered my spark after gaining back about 20 to 25 lb. Il let you know. Life has left me upside down and gasping for air. My childrens father took them from me and told them they couldnt see me anymore because I am sick. my only sickness is finilly admitting to myself and the world that I am a homosexual. After a tough fight I have my kids again and am trying to get full and legal custody. Until then I have lost my home and theirs running and hiding from this man. Our lives have been crazy as we fled to a state and town we know nothing about. I struggle daily with depression while my kids struggle daily to understand what has happened to the life they once knew. My children turning 6 and 7 in a strange place with unfamiliar faces. I can at lease say we are happy to be together. They were very afraid when their dad told them they wouldnt see me again and still live with some of that fear. Today I started logging my food intake again and Friday sign up at a gym. Tomorow I go to court where my childrens dad will go on trial for domestic violence that occured the day I retrieved my children again. I am blessed to have them but I am very afraid to go back to his town and possibly see him. I dont have anyone to go and support me and the closer 8 am is the more afraid I am. I want to be healthy and happy. I want my kids to be healthy and happy. I want this very scary man out of our lives. I never thought id say that. I always beleived he was an important part of their lives but iv come to realize that people arent who you want them to be, they are just who they are. Tonight I will npray for the forst time in a long time. I will ask the god of my understanding for strength and guidance. I wish you all out there the same. I love you all.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You hang in there, people always want to persecute us for being who we truly are. Hes being an ass because his ego is bruised but that doesn't make you a bad parent or sick. Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are. It took allot of courage to come out and now you have to hold on for yourself and for your babies. I wish you the best and if you ever need to rant just ping me or add me on Facebook. You can message me for my email. Stay strong and you always have someone in your corner.

    1995 days ago
    I am so sorry your ex husband is being such a prick! Oh my goodness, what a jerk. Same thing happen to a good friend of mine in Utah, and the courts usually side with whoever is more Mormon like there, obviously that was not my beautiful femme friend. Amazingly with time, things have gotten better for her and her 2 daughters. The husband has cooled down all his evil objections, because ultimately he loves and cares about his children having their mother.

    That may or may not ever happen with your ex. I can certainly understand the fear you have for going back to that state, seeing him again. Oh my gosh, I will definitely keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.

    Keep taking care of yourself. That will ultimately help not only you, but your kids. And you will feel more empowered, the more you do take care of yourself. I am reading The Spark right now and he sort of talks about that. Turn to us here for support, k?

    Use us for a sounding board. Many here have tons of experience, strength and hope. Many have even gone thru what you are going thru. Keep your head up, you can survive this and in fact thrive.

    I believe in you.




    One day at a time,
    Lady Di
    2006 days ago
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