Wednesday, October 26, 2011
This is my cry for help.
I've been worried about my weight daily for the past 5 to 6 months. I've tired many different things: challenges, spark buddies, etc. I'm not sure where my motivation or self care have ran off to. My self esteem is at an all time LOW!
I stay in the house because I'm ashamed of the way I've allowed myself to get. I've never been this big, had self esteem this low, no will power, no motivation, and of all I've never been this alone.
Everyday I wonder how would my life be if I lost this weight, when will I really lose this weight, will I have children, will I get married, will I get diabetes and other illnesses because I'm not losing this weight...this list of questions goes on and on EVERYDAY...And I'm tired, but not tired enough to change my life.
I'm not sure when or where I lost hope and gave up on myself. But I do know I need help all kinds that I can get. I normally try online support but here at home I do everything alone (exercise & diet). I've never tried a personal trainer or life coach. Maybe that would help but who has money for those things.
The purpose of this blog is to reach others that feel like I feel and to also get some guidance because I seriously don't know where to start or how to begin after years of failure and repetitive dieting.
The hardest part for me is the eating plan: creating a grocery list, grocery shopping, and of course cooking.
Hopefully I can save myself sooner than later because I haven't been happy in a very long time and I'm only 25!