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It was a big step for me...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Posting my picture on here was a big step for me.. a huge step.. like a step that took me months to take. I saw everyone else with their pics posted and i even saw other sparkers say that they were gonna take friends off their list if they didnt have a picture of them posted .. they said they couldnt feel connected to someone they have never seen.. and well i just lost their friendship cause i could bring myself to post a picture of myself.. Im not a picture taker .. thats why my "before" pic sucks so bad... i had to find one.. and i had to look hard for that pic too.. and as far as the picture of me now.. i had to take the picture especially for posting on spark.. i guess its just because i hated how i looked so much that i actually immediatly hated all pics of me and were ashamed of them .. and even after i started try to take better care of myself i couldnt let that hate go.... a self hate u could say. But lately im not hating what i see in the mirror .. im liking that girl/ woman.. shes pretty cool and funny and not so bad looking after all.. so i took the step and took a pic .. and i didnt hate it.. well i didnt love it but there was no hate there.. and i thought to myself.. im on sparks to get better .. to face my fears .. to confront my failures and my sucesses.. so i had to post a pic :) .. and well to me.. posting my pic was a big move forward for me.. Im proud of myself for taking this step and facing it head on.. it took a few months but i got there :) Thank you for your nice comments about my pic :) i appreciate and needed them :)

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
JUSTDUCKY1405 10/30/2011 11:38PM

    Way to go! I can understand how that would be a huge step for you. You look great!

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RHONDASCRAPS 10/27/2011 11:46AM

    GOOD FOR YOU!!! I love your picture and I totally empathize with you. For YEARS I wouldn't let anybody take my picture...I was too fat and too ugly. Well I still feel that way a lot but I'm getting there. I haven't gotten up the courage yet to post a full body picture--I'm not use to looking at that myself yet. But when I start showing some progress I hope I will be able to upload--we'll see.

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    Bravo beautiful lady! I am glad you are here and you are facing all your fears. You are moving mountains and that means you are moving towards a healthy life change!


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CULAINA 10/26/2011 7:47PM

    Being brave rocks, beautiful lady x

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REBECCAMA 10/26/2011 7:36AM

  It took me a year before I could post a picture of myself on Spark. Congratulations on taking that big step. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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REALLYGOTTALOSE 10/26/2011 12:48AM

    Rochellle ... I haven't either, I'm starting with spark, facebook is next...

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ROCHELLE62 10/25/2011 11:23PM

    Totally understand. I finally put one on Spark, but still haven't put one on facebook.

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MRS_BRENDA_P 10/25/2011 8:13PM

    Way to go on taking a step in conquering a hurdle. I love your picture and I think you look great!

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23KAIYA 10/25/2011 7:28PM

You're beautiful, and I'm glad you're more comfortable than you where. I have the same issue, perhaps a little worse (threatened to quit my job over a commercial they wanted me in, shades pulled so I don't see my reflection in the window), it's inspiring to see a fellow 'sparker' making progress. Thank you!

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