Monday, October 24, 2011
They say when you fall back into your old bad habits that you have fallen off the wagon. Well let me tell ya, I didn't just fall off the wagon I also just laid there as it backed up and ran over me again!
I have blogged before about family issues and stress levels. I guess I just let them all get to me. (It happens from time to time.) This time it just seemed to hit me harder than usual and I didn't bounce back as I usually do.
I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until lately. My first wake up call was this past summer. I went bathing suit shopping with my daughter. I had to try on several before finding one I was happy with. (By happy with I mean one that I would still hide under my MONSTER t-shirt.) I knew I had put on a few pounds but hey I had a baby-right? Wrong! My "baby" was a year old. There was no excuse for me to still be putting on weight. I had to go up 4 sizes to find a swim suit I could squeeze into. I sat in the changing room and cried for 45 min straight.
A couple weeks later my husband and I had gone shopping. I saw him double take at another woman. Normally this doesn't bother me, he's human and people look at attractive people. It cut like a knife when he remarked that she was attractive but it's ok cause he loves me just the way I am. I know it came out wrong but ouch.
That same week we were grocery shopping and my hubby whispers to me I had split my pants. This is embarrassing enough in itself but the fact was it was the second pair that week. We went to get me some more and I had to not only go up two sizes but also by them in wide. Once again I left family members waiting outside the dressing room as I cried.
Recently I have had to go again and by bigger pants. This time I only bought one pair. My hubby thinks I have lost my mind. I told him I refuse to buy more than that because I will NOT be wearing them long. I also REFUSE to buy a bigger size again.
I have crawled my hefty behind back up on the wagon and have now taken the reigns! I am in control! I am driving this wagon! I am leading this adventure! Next stop...smallerville. It's just one of many stops on the way to Tiny Town. I may never make it to Tiny town and that's ok. I'm older and have my own health issues, BUT I will not settle for anything less than Happyville and I'm not there yet! It's a long, tough journey but I'm up for it. I ave my Spark Family to help me along the way.