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Life by the Rules

Friday, October 21, 2011

My son just rolls his eyes and leaves the room as I watch old episodes of "Lost in Space". It seems that every week, the robot, that compassionate, all knowing collection of circuits and metal, would lash out "Danger Will Robinson".
Personally, I thought he needed protection from Dr. Smith and inept parents, but that is not what this blog is about.

It seems everyday we hear of something that is bad for us. Why don't they (the LIFE police) just come out and say that living is hazardous to our health? Get it over with and stop confusing us with contradictions. Or have they? How about we just list some obvious observations?

1. Never pass up an opportunity to pee. Ever.

2. Success is the best revenge.

3. Never give yourself a haircut when drinking.

4. You'll feel better if you throw up.

5. Don't be an idiot.

6. It's not so bad because it could always be worse.

7. Never wear a hot pink thong under white pants.

8. Life is full of lessons. Lesson is repeated until learned.

9. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

10. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

11. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

12. Call your Mom.

13. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

14. Never fight with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

15. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

16. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

17. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.

18. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

19. Don't judge people by their relatives.

20. It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

21. Mind your own business.

22. Smile when answering the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

23. Take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lime and a shot of tequila.

24. A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

25. Live beneath your means.

The beauty of Spark People is in it's simplicity. No list of complicated do's and don'ts. Spark truly KISS - Keeps It Simple Sweetie. I know, I switched out a word. While I may do stupid things, I am not stupid.

Thank you for your time.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NANHBH
    These are great, Lynne! Such simple wisdom! Love #13. I've been living by that one for years!

    I learned #1 at a very young age. I think I peed 6 times in the hour before my 5K race. You just never know where the next bathroom will be!
    emoticon
    1799 days ago
  • BTRTHANEVA
    Great list! But I got a ???

    WHAT do you call your mother??? hehehehe. Something nice, I suspect.

    #25 really spoke to me, especially after I lost my job. Now that there's a strong possiblity I'll be back in the workforce soon, one of my main objectives is to continue living on my husband's paycheck. (I'm not stupid, either...hehehehe).

    Thanks for sharing!
    1801 days ago
  • SLCOLMAN
    Love KISS :)
    1802 days ago
  • JANETRIS
    #1 spoke to me also! Lately I've been adopting #13 around my house. With winter coming, and a few scattered nice days around, I'd rather be outside enjoying what is left! A great blog post...thanks! emoticon emoticon
    1802 days ago
  • LUCKYDOGFARM
    theres a whole bunch of those that are for sures! especially #1! and so many of them that people REALLY need to start implementing!
    1803 days ago
  • BILLALEX70
    I'll TRIPLE agree with you on #1!
    emoticon
    1803 days ago
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