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    SHRINKINGLULU   12,447
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Booby Trapping Chubberchaun Butthead (w/pics!)

Thursday, October 20, 2011

It all makes so much sense now!!!

Some of you may remember that I used to write rather frequently (and heatedly) about my constant struggle with Blobby McFlabface, the chubberchaun who hides in my rolls and attempts to expand his flab mansion with whispered suggestions of naps and designer ice creams and the like.

So you may also have noticed that I haven't written about him in quite some time.

That's because I hadn't HEARD from him in a really long time. Maybe the faintest hint of a whisper about how my couch is really comfortable and sitting empty and alone while I'm at the gym, but never anything with much force, volume, or convincing power.

I thought perhaps with the steady collapse of his flab mansion he had moved on to greener (or flabbier) pastures (or thighs).

Now I know better.

I've lost 45lb so far, and do you know what that adds up to?
The approximate weight of the mythical chubberchaun!
I think not.

"Oh yay!" I can hear you thinking.
No yay.
No yay at all.

Today I got undeniable evidence that Blobby McFlabface has, in fact, taken on physical form and is lurking around my office, car, and home and trying to booby trap me into creating enough flab-space for him to move back in!!

I got up to fill my water bottle a little bit ago. The kitchen is just down my hall and it took only a minute or two to walk there, fill my water bottle, top off my brita pitcher, and walk back to my desk.

To a pack of HoHo's front and center on said desk.

Where did these come from?
1) Most of the producers and staff here are douche-canoes in one aspect or another and none of them would be nice enough to give me anything, except maybe a cold.
2) The few exceptions who WOULD be nice enough to give me something have all very nicely commented on my weight loss and would not be so rude as to bring me HoHo's of all things.

Time to investigate!!!

But there's NO ONE in the building. It's a ghost town up in here. Just me and the dust bunnies (and they don't have the upper body strength required to find, transport, and deposit HoHo's).

So it's official. Blobby McFlabface is wandering about and booby trapping me.
That Butthead.

Edited for "profanity," but grudgingly. There are words you don't personally like and there are words that are profane. I pride myself in knowing when I'm being profane, and in keeping it off of SP out of respect to their rules, and in being as profane as I want in an appropriate setting.
You can read the original PG version here:
Or get the best of my almost profanity on a regular basis on Twitter by following me, @LuluLegume

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
TRYTRYAGAIN10 10/23/2011 10:36AM

    Some people need to get off my internets. I can't believe someone reported this blog for profanity. People need to grow up.

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WENDYLADY003 10/22/2011 7:37AM

    Douche-canoe is pretty much the greatest thing I've ever heard in all my life. I LOLed for real when I read that.

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SYZYGY922 10/21/2011 11:46PM

    Never mind, I just saw it. Ha!

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SYZYGY922 10/21/2011 11:45PM

    Surprise snack foods are THE WORST. What was the "profanity?" I didn't see any in your PG version. Did someone get mad about douche-canoe?:)

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HUSKERSALAD 10/21/2011 9:17PM

    I was most offended when you said you liked a Justin Beiber (or is it Bieber?) song, otherwise--we're cool. I agree, I don't see why your picture caption was a "problem," it had the visual equivalent of bleep.

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AIMEESINGS 10/21/2011 6:53PM

    emoticon Oh no!

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HUSKERSALAD 10/21/2011 3:27PM

    Did you find the culprit? Is it the lumpia bringer?

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GIRLABILLY 10/21/2011 11:47AM

    Bahahahahahahhaa.....friggin chubberchauns.

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JSPIN74 10/21/2011 10:35AM

    emoticon this is so spooky! & hysterical HAHAHAHAHA :)


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CHEETARA79 10/21/2011 10:08AM

    Maybe Blobby is dating Little Debbie? She may have left the HoHos on your desk as a housewarming gift for Blobby since he's trying to move back into your body.


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PARASELENIC 10/21/2011 10:03AM

    I always thought that ho hos were evil, but I had no idea that they had teamed up with the darkside! wow.

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BMORGANSON 10/21/2011 9:47AM

    OoooOoo! Creepy! It's the scariest Halloween ghost-story I've ever heard! The mysterious Ho-Hos of DOOM! Seriously though, I'd be creeped out by those things appearing out of no where! No problems not eating them either...those Ho-Hos are haunted!

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HEYBUTT 10/21/2011 7:46AM

    I say you lure Booby within grabbing distance, get a hold of him and cram those Ho-hos right up his bum.

Right. Up. His. Bum.

(and as for who ever did leave those Ho-hos, I'd find them and feign a fit. Something along the lines of "Is THIS what you think of me? I'm a HO HO! I'm calling H.R." Oh, that would be so fun.)

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MOONMANSON 10/21/2011 6:34AM

    That son of a beetch!

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TRIXIEBLUE 10/20/2011 10:19PM

    EVILE Flab monster!

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JONICACALDWELL 10/20/2011 9:14PM

    Seriously- WOW! Ding Dongs- ugh. Freshly baked cake -maybe, but Ding Dongs, ain't worth it. Is there a work fridge yo can put them in? (I hate wasting food, some will eat it won't they?)

Great story& great job on the weight. Maybe it was a test.

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KMICHA 10/20/2011 8:50PM

    Hmmmmmm . . . . beware!

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BETTERJULIA 10/20/2011 8:29PM

    Dooody dooody dooooo dooody doooo thats my twilight zone theme. That's crazy about the ho ho's! You're doing amazingly! Keep it up!

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BETTERJULIA 10/20/2011 8:28PM

    Dooody dooody dooooo dooody doooo thats my twilight zone theme. That's crazy about the ho ho's! You're doing amazingly! Keep it up!

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CROOKEDLETTER 10/20/2011 7:59PM

    Damn the little feed-loader!

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