It all makes so much sense now!!!
Some of you may remember that I used to write rather frequently (and heatedly) about my constant struggle with Blobby McFlabface, the chubberchaun who hides in my rolls and attempts to expand his flab mansion with whispered suggestions of naps and designer ice creams and the like.
So you may also have noticed that I haven't written about him in quite some time.
That's because I hadn't HEARD from him in a really long time. Maybe the faintest hint of a whisper about how my couch is really comfortable and sitting empty and alone while I'm at the gym, but never anything with much force, volume, or convincing power.
I thought perhaps with the steady collapse of his flab mansion he had moved on to greener (or flabbier) pastures (or thighs).
Now I know better.
I've lost 45lb so far, and do you know what that adds up to?
The approximate weight of the mythical chubberchaun!
I think not.
"Oh yay!" I can hear you thinking.
No yay at all.
Today I got undeniable evidence that Blobby McFlabface has, in fact, taken on physical form and is lurking around my office, car, and home and trying to booby trap me into creating enough flab-space for him to move back in!!
I got up to fill my water bottle a little bit ago. The kitchen is just down my hall and it took only a minute or two to walk there, fill my water bottle, top off my brita pitcher, and walk back to my desk.
To a pack of HoHo's front and center on said desk.
Where did these come from?
1) Most of the producers and staff here are douche-canoes in one aspect or another and none of them would be nice enough to give me anything, except maybe a cold.
2) The few exceptions who WOULD be nice enough to give me something have all very nicely commented on my weight loss and would not be so rude as to bring me HoHo's of all things.
Time to investigate!!!
But there's NO ONE in the building. It's a ghost town up in here. Just me and the dust bunnies (and they don't have the upper body strength required to find, transport, and deposit HoHo's).
So it's official. Blobby McFlabface is wandering about and booby trapping me.
Edited for "profanity," but grudgingly. There are words you don't personally like and there are words that are profane. I pride myself in knowing when I'm being profane, and in keeping it off of SP out of respect to their rules, and in being as profane as I want in an appropriate setting.
You can read the original PG version here: www.legumelegroom.blogspot.com
Or get the best of my almost profanity on a regular basis on Twitter by following me, @LuluLegume