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    EARTHSEAME   56,981
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Divorce Diary: Admitting it's over

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I'm tired of living in limbo - my marriage is over and I need to quit calling my ex, my husband. I won't change anything by being nice or considerate. There is no reason to put his needs before mine. Civility is all that's required now. The worst of the emotional part is over. The steel bands that used to squeeze my heart are gone. Now the only pain comes from facing my fears about living alone and supporting myself. And it's time to enjoy the freedom to go out at night and make new friends, be social, maybe date.


Things I'm looking forward to:

My first book club meeting.
Trivia night with friends at our neighborhood bar.
A weekend spiritual retreat.
A trip to see friends and family.
Time and money for self-care.
Learning how to run my new business.
Making decisions without having to wait for someone else to make up their mind.
Not having to deal with someone else's mess or clutter.
Making my own budget and deciding what has priority.
Choosing what sort of job I want without anything holding me back.
Being able to live anywhere I want.
Not having to feed anyone else but the dog.
No more Toxic In-Laws.
Less guilt trips and more road trips.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ONESPOTLEFT 10/24/2011 1:11PM

    being alone is not the same as being lonely. Sometimes marriages just are not mean to be don't fret about it just move on and it looks as if you have done just that

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CRYSTALJEM 10/21/2011 12:43AM

    Well done, here's to a wonderful life!

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IFDEEVARUNS2 10/19/2011 10:44PM

    I remember making a list like this once when a friend felt sorry for me because I was single. I listed similar items, but what I really remember is listing eating the same meal for dinner every night if I wanted, and eating in bed while reading. Not things SP advocates, but at least I'm free to please myself!

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JMARIES51 10/19/2011 10:37PM

    I remember back to the first Saturday morning when I woke up alone and thought to myself.... I can do anything I want to today... and I don't have to get anyone else's permission. And that same night I made a bed on the living room floor and read and listened to music and stayed up half the night without someone saying... When are you coming to bed, or that music is too loud... and eating just a baked potato for dinner and not having to hear about my poor eating habits or what is for Dinner.... And all the peace and peacefulness to just be and not be interrupted. Blessings for you and your new life. This moment is at it should be... that was my mantra and kept me together when I thought I was so scared to be alone. Gosh, I had forgotten all of these feelings until I read your blogs. Joann

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MSLZZY 10/19/2011 9:58PM

    It helps to clean house, so to speak. The burdens of pleasing someone else are gone and you can focus on you. Toxic family members just lead to unnecessary stress. You found the solution for yourself. Best of luck to you. HUGS!

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WITHSCISSORS 10/19/2011 8:55PM

    Great idea to make a list of all the good things in your future. I'm going to borrow the idea to make my ow similar list. Thanks for the inspiration, and best wishes for your future. I'm going through a divorce right now, myself, and I've got to admit it's one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I just know that it will be so worth all the trouble just to get to the other side.

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KARBIE18 10/19/2011 5:45PM

    Great list, Evelyn. Looks like you have many things to look forward to. Love the way you are looking at things, too. You are going to be great!!

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JUSTDUCKY1405 10/19/2011 4:34PM

    Good for you! This is going to be huge in your acceptance of your new life. I am humbled by your circumstances, but inspired by your strength. Its gonna be a great new life.

All the best!
emoticon

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GRAMPIAN 10/19/2011 4:01PM

  Good luck with your new business and future.

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3016DEBRA 10/19/2011 3:57PM

  Mines not final yet but I know where you're coming from...it's a little scary but also exciting at the same time. WE WILL BE JUST FINE! I live in KS but if I were closer, the Trivia Night sounds like a lotta fun. And who knows who you just might meet, huh? ;))) emoticon emoticon

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DEBJAE 10/19/2011 3:49PM

    emoticon
I love your list of things to look forward to! I can't imagine how hard this has been for you but...way to see past it and into your future on a positive note. You will get through this.

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