Wednesday, October 19, 2011
I was totally in control.
I lost 133 pounds in 16 months.
I was tracking consistently.
I was exercising consistently.
I was doing all the right things.
Ok. Maybe I wasn't.
I was under eating.
Was not taking my medications
to manage my mental health.
So here I am
just 30 pounds away from where I started.
What do I do now?
Part of me feels too defeated to restart.
Another part of me knows that I have lost the weight before
and can do it again.
Still another part wonders what kind of toll this weight cycling
is having on my mind and body.
I know I'm not in a place to commit to healthy eating for the rest of my life.
Loosing weight gives you such a high -
regaining weight is a crushing blow that leaves you in the lowest of the lows.
I'm at a crossroad.