Tuesday, October 18, 2011
So much for my daily confessionals. I swear I have an excuse for that too! But honestly, the more I think about these "excuses," the more I realize that they're not so much excuses as numerous reasons that my life is TOTALLY NORMAL every single day.
So Friday I was on track until hour 9 of my insanely long 15 hour work day when I went to get dinner, ordered a healthy turkey wrap and forgot to ask them to hold the fries. When it came out of the kitchen with those sexy greased potato strips of love, I devoured each and every single one of them along with the 2 glasses of wine that I believe I was OWED at that point in the day. Then enter skeezy bar manager who, though we work next door to each other, only recently noticed my weight loss for the first time and now believes that he has the right to 1. ogle my new body every time I walk down the street, and 2. make comments about my dinner choices. Which he did while I was trying to enjoy it. Him, as I am scarfing down my fries: "So is this part of the new diet?" Me: "There is no diet and I ran 9 miles on Tuesday, so I think that entitles me to eat what I want on a Friday night." What I Wanted To Say: "OMG, it's none of your $^%#*($#^$# business - get out of my life and let me enjoy my dinner in peace you #%$^&@&*#^" But I'm nicer than that. So I just ate too many fries and drank too much wine to wash his nasty comments and dirty, greasy looks out of my system.
Saturday was pretty good. I went to my Zumba class and loved every minute of it, per usual. And was totally on track with my food choices up until a late dinner with Nikhil (he made dosas - deep fried Indian pancakes that are made from ground lentils and meal flour and served with oily peanut spice paste - very dense, very delicious and only better when washed down with alcoholic beverages!) I was actually very proud of myself for opting to swing by Panera and pick up a bowl of chili and a bagel for lunch before meeting him for a study date at the library as opposed to waiting for him to make any food choices for us, because I know that he ALWAYS waits too long to eat and then makes poor decisions which I can't let be my habit as well. And as I suspected, our study date was followed by a mad dash to 7-Eleven to buy a churro to scarf down on the way home. I definitely felt like I won that one!
So as much as Saturday was a small triumph, Sunday was a total bust. My goals for the day? Stay in my calorie range and go for a 5 mile run. I didn't do either. We slept in and had a lazy morning over coffee and, yes, a caramel apple and leftover cheesecake from Thanksgiving. Ouch. Then came a late lunch at an Indian buffet - his treat. The food wasn't good at all (the authentic food he makes is so much better than anything at that restaurant and he usually makes it light and low fat for me!) and because he felt bad about lunch being a disappointment, after a leisurely walk by the waterfront (taking the place of my run, but at least it was SOME exercise) he took me to a chocolate shop to pick out handmade TRUFFLES for Sweetest Day. Oh lord in heaven. At least I didn't eat dinner.
Getting tired of my excuses, yesterday and today have been real, true, honest efforts at getting my act together. I made some really great choices yesterday - was on schedule with everything and even managed to fare pretty well at a work function last night. It's always really difficult to count finger foods, so I estimated the best I could and I actually don't believe I went over my calorie limits as badly as my tracker says I did. I promised myself I wasn't going to drink and held to that promise. I had a couple of finger sandwiches, a couple of pieces of bruschetta, some veggies and dip and ONE dessert bar. And then I got the heck out of there. Not only was I tired of networking for the evening, I knew that if I stayed, I would cave to having a drink and then I would surely eat more, so I did what I needed to do and extricated myself from the free food. Free food is deadly. Then, since I was in the neighbourhood, I swung by Caribou Coffee and picked up a hot chocolate for my beau and a tea for myself and surprised Nikhil at his place since I know he's been studying hard for his mid-terms this week. He was super cute, very surprised and very happy to see me (and the hot chocolate). I stole kisses for 30 minutes and then left him to keep working. A perfect little Monday night break.
Today has been good. I am on track again. And it's running day. I'm nervous because I haven't run in a week having skipped my run on Sunday, and tonight is my first 10-miler. But I've had my brownie! And even though it's raining and cold and miserable outside, I'm gonna do this! (Cause I have to. Cause I fueled with a brownie and running 10 miles is my only reason for being able to eat brownies.)
So excuses or just life? Take it as you will, but I'm feeling better about things. I can't be perfect every day, but I can be better than average. And I can deal with changes in the schedule as they come up. I'm learning how to be adaptable and I'm still improving myself. Gotta love that.
No more excuses this week. It's going to be great! Now - for that 10-miler...