Saturday, October 15, 2011
I have a Facebook friend (friend of a IRL friend of mine) who is an amazing Christian woman with two little boys ages 18 months and 4 years old. She has a marriage that makes other people say "what is your secret? I want that!" and her beautiful spirit draws many people to her because of God's love they see through her. She was recently diagnosed with a terminal aggressive brain tumor and at best has 10-12 months left unless God has other plans for her. She put a quote on her FB page today that really spoke to me... to my petty sinful little heart that I try to hide but that I know (and God knows) is there... to the despair I feel some days over struggles we are having with one of our daughters... to the dissatisfaction and frustration I feel in my marriage, church family and life in general right now...
It brought me back to a place of understanding that it's not about me. it's not about me. it's about Him and how I can chose each day to follow his guidance in the dark comforted by His hand around mine or I can struggle to see what is not mine to see, stumble around blindly and push away the hand that is there to comfort and guide. I hope it touches you the way it touched me. (and I plan to find the book it came from and read the whole thing!)
"My problem is that I like light better than darkness. But if I can see what God is doing--how He is working everything together for good--then I don't need faith. But I still want to see. I think we all have this problem. We say we want more faith, but really what we want is sight. Sight says, 'I see that it's good for me, so God must have sent it,' but faith says, 'God sent it, so it must be good for me.' God asks us to walk by faith, not by sight. Faith is walking in the dark with God, holding His hand."
(From "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow)