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    MAEBEAR26   17,260
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Facing the Scale and the Truth: Starting Over... Again. Back at Day 1.


Saturday, October 15, 2011

I have been in denial for a few months now. I have been very focused on school and feeling like I was eating ok and working out here and there. Probably enough I told myself. Drinking half a bottle of wine most days of the week and eating cookies (3-4) also fine. I'd run more this week... but then I didn't. Also we all know the "I'll run more" is pure nonsense and lies we tell ourselves to be able to eat that crap. The worst part is I kept buying this stuff at the store, and then once it is in the house it is all over.

I've been noticing the signs that my weight is back up and ignoring them. It's just water weight, I'd say to myself as my thighs were once again rubbing together (hate that feeling). I didn't want to go back to daily calorie counting. I didn't want to have to worry about all I have going on plus my every bite and every step. Terrible of me, but this is the truth! Something I've been avoiding for a while now.

I logged on to my Nike Plus and my mini was complaining about my lack of activity for the past month. I realized I had not run in over a month! What? I have been going to yoga once a week, but that is not nearly enough to account for all the VERY bad eating. And the slightly dangerous wine consumption. I don't think I have a drinking problem exactly, I have an over indulgence in everything problem. It could be wine, cookies, ice cream, you name the bad food and I'll have too much. I already know I'm a stress eater so why should I be surprised that with the added stress at school and lack of free time I'd start back down that dark path.

Being a 2L has been tough: there is a lot more going on and a lot less time. I have 17 units, I'm on a Law Journal, and I am starting a school club. I will soon be adding an internship to all that. Add on that I now live with my boyfriend and you have the perfect storm. But the truth is it is my fault for not making my health a priority. With out my health I have nothing! It is so easy to skip running to spend those few precious moments with my man. But I have to find a way to fit fitness back in and face the facts.

STEP ONE: FACE THE SCALE!

I've been avoiding the scale for months now. I know it is bad and I just didn't want to know the true badness. So today I faced the scale. It may seem small, but I gained about 4 pounds (that is like a month of weight loss for me). The body fat % was worse, along with gaining an inch to two inches just about everywhere. Oh man! I really am in a bad backslide. But at least I am stopping the denial and facing the facts.

STEP TWO: COME CLEAN

I am now blogging to come clean with myself and to have some responsibility to the community on spark so that I am forced to get back on track.

STEP THREE: FOOD REFORM

As of today I am giving up wine for a while. At least two months if not more. I am also getting rid of all sweets and bad foods from the house. I am going back to tracking every bite.

STEP FOUR: FIT IN FITNESS:

I'm making a pledge to run at least twice a week (30min minimum) and yoga once a week. I will also do some weight work with my cardio. NO MATTER WHAT! I can find an hour if I try hard enough. Stop with the "too busy" excuse! emoticon

I hope that this will pay off. Thanks to you all for keeping me accountable and for all your support. It means a lot. Spark really does work if you put the work in. I'm getting back on track and back on my slow but steady path to my weight goal.

Now off to Yoga!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LIZZIECA55 10/17/2011 2:04PM

    Great Blog! Hang in there; it takes a lifetime to live a good life.

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KELLEEH 10/16/2011 3:33PM

    You are brave enough to tell yourself the truth! That is an excellent quality to have!

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INBRAZILFORNOW 10/16/2011 11:55AM

    Thanks for writing this....that too busy thing is me for sure....and the bad food in the house, well my husband buys it but that doesn't mean I have to eat it! You are awesome - and you are making it happen!

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PRAIRIECROCUS 10/16/2011 1:41AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NEWNAC304 10/15/2011 8:35PM

    It's so easy to fall off track. You know where you went wrong and what to do to get back on track. You've taken the first step and have a great plan in place. You can do it!

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APIRLRAIN888 10/15/2011 7:32PM

    U can do it! That was me 4 month ago! I let it slide for 2 month! I have been back with a venenge, couldn't run a mile! Now training for full marathon ;)

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LOVE_LIANE 10/15/2011 7:22PM

    You're back at it, and that's what matters =) I'm an avoider too when I know I've been neglecting my health - it's just easier to dig our heads in the sand and pretend it's all cool. But you faced the scale, didn't die of shame and regret, and now you're able to do something about it. Welcome back! You'll do great, and that 4lbs will be gone in no time.

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TRYN2MUCH 10/15/2011 6:18PM

    Thanks for sharing. We all struggle with the over-eating and lack of exercise and I applaud you for doing it publicly.

Good Luck on the journey! You'll get back on track.

Now if I can only follow a little of your courage.

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