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Thoughts of me after

Thursday, October 13, 2011

So I am visiting my parents, family and friends in Florida after I have not seen them in about a year. It's funny how I am receiving weight loss reviews. According to one uncle "wow you look nice...stay that way not good to have a lot of fat". I guess it awakened to me that I really have lost weight ( I don't see it). My parents have even congratulated me on the weight loss. Not saying that I am not happy for the remarks but it just makes me wonder how big I really was. I did not see myself as overweight all these years until last year after seeing a picture of myself, of all places, Facebook. Seeing that picture and noticing the difficulties I had breathing while taking the short flight of steps in my home triggered something in my brain. At 30 I should not be that way and thinking how would I be at 35? At 265 something had to be done. But why I say it's funny now regarding the remarks is that no one told me about my size then. Absolutely no one, not even my husband. It's not that I say this out of anger but out of comfort ( or something like that). But it also makes me think about how would I have taken it? And am I willing to do the same for others without fear of backlash. Even though I know when I saw the need for myself I did it for myself!
During this journey even though I have some ways to go. However, this journey is a springboard for life. I have learned not to limit myself or allow anyone to limit me. To me, my weight loss journey propels me to other goals in my life. Because I know with God I can do all things. Never in a million years would I ever thought that I could run, do Insanity, do Taebo (without stopping), or do a Bootcamp. And I have. We all can, just take one step at a time and keep it moving. No one can do this for you but you. Your own motivator is YOU!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LOVE7755
    Thanks everyone for the feedback. And yes I truly know that weight status is not discussed But the visit is great motivation (among others) to keep going.
    2321 days ago
    I know what you mean, but I actually think it's AWESOME that your family - esp. your husband - didn't say anything. Because to me, that means they loved you just the way you were. How great is that?

    :) Courtney
    2323 days ago
    My family has always been a little on the blunt side. They never said anything hurtful (not too much) but they definetly dropped lots of hints every now and then, like:

    "You would be a knockout if you lost some weight"

    "You look like you gained a little, oooo-weee!"

    They may sound hurtful, but coming from my family it really is not, haha. We're a little rough and tumble. Sometimes it would almost spark me into action, but I wasn't ready to do it for ME, not because someone else commented. Now Im doing it for ME and Im seeing results. :)

    But yes, most people wont speak up about I think because in most cases it will be hurtful. No one wants to be told their fat, even in the nicest of ways.

    I love your wording in this. I feel like my new lifestyle and weightloss is propelling me into other goals too! It really does transform you little by little :)

    2323 days ago
    About acquaintances: I work with all men and even though I've dropped over 50 lbs no one utters a word. I wore my hair up once and everyone was all "what you doing differently? You look great!".

    About friends and loved ones: I think your family would have intervened if they thought the weight was making you unhappy but were unwilling to cause you grief on a matter that didn't seem to interfere with your enjoyment of life. Frankly, they sound kind of awesome!
    2323 days ago
    I've noticed a lot of people shy away from asking me how much I have lost. I'm sure it's out of awkwardness, but I generally appreciate it, since I have so much to lose.

    But if people said anything back when I was heavier, I would have been so so so embarassed. I think all of us start this journey with a realization of WOW - I am so much larger than I ever pictured myself being. It's possible from others' comments that you would recognize this, but it's also possible it would do nothing but hurt their feelings ...

    In the end, keep it up!! You're doing awesome!
    2324 days ago
    Those little remarks get to me too.
    It is ONE of the things I am working on.
    Even compliments can be overwhelming at times depending on HOW it is said.
    I had someone say WOW! You look like you lost -50 lbs.
    Clearing my voice...WELL...I HAD NOT! And even though I know they meant it to say something NICE...I didn't receive it THAT. The remark sparked all kinds of THOUGHTS in my head.
    Or people will tell me how small this or that is getting or how this use to be SO BIG. ...smh
    I would just like a simple compliment...Oh! You look nice. Oh! You look like you took off a few lbs. LOOKING GOOD!
    Something LIKE THAT.
    So...I am ACTIVELY learning how to take it all in and CONSTRUCTIVELY deal with it.
    Keep Sparking!
    2324 days ago
    Someone's weight is one of those politically incorrect subjects we all avoid...until the person shows themselves willing to discuss it. Your family probably did not want to embarrass you or hurt your feelings, and probably was just so used to you being you that they may not even have really noticed anymore. Until you started losing weight and they could see the difference.

    2324 days ago
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