Wednesday, October 12, 2011
I'm in a hard place. Son home on fall break so routine is disrupted. CANNOT SLEEP, and I mean, really not sleep..like 2-3 hours a night, MAX, and this for ages on end now. I am so bleary eyed I can't put two thoughts together, never mind execute a consciously healthy routine.
The last few days I have felt myself fading to the place of "I don't care". I HATE that place; that's the place I used to live. It is sometimes easy, but it is also ugly and unhappy. I simply REFUSE to live there again. I have lost 60 pounds and I'll be damned if I'm going back because my body is being mean to me...NO...I will win this thing!
I am overindulging in less than great food choices this week, and the pool is freezing so no swimming. With son home, I don't feel comfortable doing my exercise dvds, but I am heading out for the second day in a row for a long and strenuous walk. I did so yesterday out of sheer desperation, and it flushed out a bunch of bloat that was further weighing me down. (Unfortunately, it did not aid my sleep). Today, I intend to flush out some more sluggish bloat. And I will keep doing this until son is back at at school , and the heat is on in the pool, and I can sleep, and the world is right side up again. Until then, I will use new tricks. Cos I'll be damned if I'm goin' back....