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    NYS_EMT   49,235
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Worst day ever

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I don't usually do this. I don't usually spread info like this, but this is different. And I need my fellow Clovers to know why I have been, and will be, absent for a few days.

I have been spotting on and off for 3 days. This morning, I had some bright red spotting but very little. I called the doctor anyway and they wanted me to be checked.

I made the two hour drive to my doctor, told them what all had happened and then the doctor tried to find the baby's heartbeat with the doppler... no luck. But that was okay, because I am 14 weeks along today so the baby is still kind of small. But she wanted me to have an ultrasound. So she rushed me over to ultrasound, and there it was confirmed. No heartbeat. It was all over. My heart instantly broke into a million pieces.

So now, I have to have a D&C. I will find out tomorrow when that will be. For now, I am on lifting restrictions and no strenuous activity. I cannot do anything that could cause me to start bleeding. Apparently if I do, it's straight to the ER.

So I will not be posting air miles for a little bit. I really have no idea how long... but I hope to heal physically and emotionally real soon.

Until then, I will be laying low. Thanks for understanding Sparkers and Clovers!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PEPPERMINT125 10/15/2011 1:05AM

    Amanda, I don't know you well, but I cried when I read your post. As a mom of four, I know how precious every life is and hope that you will have family, friends and spiritual comfort as you deal with your grief. You now have a tiny angel in heaven.

Take care of yourself and your family and take your time getting back to exercising.

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DAWNFIRE72 10/14/2011 9:31PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you and your family. emoticon

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ITSTHENEWLAUREN 10/14/2011 1:54PM

  Amanda!

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. Please take care of yourself!

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FUSCHIA6 10/14/2011 8:51AM

    Dear Amanda, I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of this tiny, but much loved baby. My first pregnancy ended far too early in a "missed" miscarriage and I remember the grief acutely. One of my wishes is that there is a heaven, where I will be reunited with my first baby and finally have him or her in my arms.
My condolences to you and your family.
Gail
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DAVEYSHADOW 10/13/2011 12:39PM

    emoticon so sorry to hear your news. Take care and don't fret about the Clovers. We will still be here to support you when you are ready to come back.

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BLUEANGELLK 10/12/2011 11:01PM

    So sorry. I couldn't imagine what that must be like. Let me know if you just need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen

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WONDERBUG381 10/12/2011 9:23PM

    I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts & prayers.

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AGAPEJOY 10/12/2011 9:01PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon



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MILLISMA 10/12/2011 8:23PM

    Don't know what to say but sending you hugs. My heart goes out to you.

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SEWINGMAMACDS 10/12/2011 5:51PM

    Oh Amanda, I so sorry for the loss of the baby. You will be in my prayers.
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GERMANIRISHGIRL 10/12/2011 2:43PM

    Oh I am so sorry for you and your family. Be sure to take the time you need to get better. emoticon

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OJIBWEEQUAY 10/12/2011 2:22PM

    I am so sorry!!!!!!! Awe hugs!!!!! I will be thinking of you friend emoticon

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BNSUHAS 10/12/2011 1:11PM

    I am so sorry! Please take extra good care of yourself

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CHALLENGER15 10/12/2011 10:38AM

    emoticon

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PSALM42 10/12/2011 9:26AM

    emoticon I'm sorry. Take care of yourself and take the time you need to heal.

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HOWDOIHEARTTHEE 10/12/2011 7:12AM

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BLAHNIK27 10/12/2011 4:40AM

    My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry. Look after yourself and i'll be thinking of you xxx

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MILLYMOLLY99 10/11/2011 11:30PM

    Oh I am SO sorry to hear your very sad news. Please take as long as you need to heal and be very gentle with yourself.
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MUSICMOMOF2 10/11/2011 9:25PM

    Oh, I am so sorry. Hugs and prayers being sent your way. Take care of yourself sweetie!

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MINDA31807 10/11/2011 9:23PM

    Oh Amanda, I am so sorry for your loss. emoticon Take care of yourself, come back when you are ready. emoticon

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CLOVER2 10/11/2011 8:53PM

    My heart and prayers go with you. I am so sorry

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BUTTERFLYBOUND 10/11/2011 8:50PM

    emoticon Im so incredibly sorry that you have to go through this. emoticon

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MELLIL 10/11/2011 8:40PM

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