Friday, October 07, 2011
My entire life, even at my thinnest, I've managed to degrade and hate my body for how it looks. I've always been completely sensitive about things that people say about me, even with the best of intentions, to the point where I get defensive, start fights, sometimes cry or even trying to eat for comfort.
Now that I'm 31 weeks pregnant, I've come to view my body (on most days) as a temple like God meant for it to be. I am creating a life within this body. I feel beautiful, unique, powerful. Even through the weight gain (31.6 lbs so far), the constant achiness, the days where I just want to lay on the couch and eat, I'm trying not to beat myself up for how I look. I look this way for a purpose. My body is not punishing me; it has a specific reason that it is acting this way.
I just have to keep reminding myself that things will drastically change once the baby comes. I've already been trying to map out a plan for my new weight loss and fitness journey after baby Harper arrives, such as how I'll exercise, when, where, etc. My husband and I, who has also been overweight since we've known each other, have made a pact that we will get healthy for the baby. Our plan is to get within the healthy weight range, exercise daily, and eat healthier. I'm already planning on making the baby's food for the most part, that way I can make sure he isn't getting too much sugar or salt. We want to be able to enjoy life and enjoy our family photos from here on out and stop obsessing over being overweight. I'll let you know how our journey goes...