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It's about time!

Thursday, October 06, 2011

This blog has been in the sidelines for a while and I am finally taking the time to share.

Where do I begin? Well, first of all, I am rather disgusted with myself for letting it happen. I didn't even realize that it had gone that far until I decided to force myself into a little reality check a few days ago. If you have not already guessed it, let me tell you. At this time I have gained 100% of my weight back. Not just the weight from my last attempt, but ALL of my weight. That's right, ALL 75 pounds of it!

There are so many excuses I could throw out there:
emoticon Unemployment
emoticon Not enough time
emoticonI'm tired
emoticonThere's always tomorrow
The list is endless. But, the truth is, I just let life get to me.

So, back to my huge reality check the other day:

There I was standing over the scale (evil little things aren't they?) looking at the number and at first I was just shocked. I thought to myself that it just could not be. I have strayed, but I have been more active than in the past even if not near as much as I should. Sure, I don't log my food or count my calories but I drink mostly water, eat records amounts of fruits and vegetables, and I have pretty much cut out all fried foods. How is it possible that I have gained every ounce that I worked so hard for about a year to lose?

Let me tell you how it is possible. I lost the confidence I had.

Sure, I could blame the fact that I lost my job. But, that job was not the reason I lost the weight.

OK, I could blame the fact that the budget was real tight and it was difficult to buy healthy foods. Again, it has been proven many times over that it is just as economical if not more so to buy healthy food.

Well, then, let's blame the fact that no one in my immediate family has no interest in eating healthy food and it is just easier to "go with the flow". Wait a minute! They have not changed at all, I didn't let that get in my way last time either!

Well, darnit! I guess I just have no excuse!

That number I saw brought out an anger in me that I have not felt in a long time. Anger directed towards myself and towards life. How in the world could I let circumstances and surroundings dictate MY life? I'm going to come out and say it, I WAS PISSED! (Dear Lord, please forgive my language, Amen) I have to say though, that anger struck me so hard I saw a Spark!

So, here goes. I went to the gym this morning for the first time in quite some time and I discovered that not all is lost. First of all, I was able to do a mile on the treadmill. Even though it took me a while, I did it. I was not able to even do 10 minutes in the beginning, so I have not completely reverted back to the person I was before. Oh, and they are now open 24 hours, so I really can't cry that I don't have the time!

Also, I did keep some of the good habits.

I drink mostly water these days. That is a habit that stuck!

I still eat lots of fruits and veggies. Yay Me!

I eat breakfast every single day. That is something I did not do before, so I am pretty happy about that too.

Tomorrow my alarm is set to go back and do it again. I am reconnecting with my SparkFriends and followers on Facebook so we can kick all the excuses to the curb together. By the way, if you are interested in following me on Facebook, you can follow this link:

Today truly is last first day I will have because I am fueling this Spark into a full blown inferno! Watch out world, Diana is no longer settling for standing at the sidelines, I am in the game!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PUGLOVER1999
    I know this is an old blog, but I clicked "I like this blog" anyway, because I DO!

    It feels so good to reallize that you have kept some of the good habits you learned the first time around, doesn't it! Just proves CHANGE IS POSSIBLE!

    I am so glad to see you here. I do not get on FB very often; I find it too hard to get off, once I do! Also, and I know this is selfish, I get more out of SP for me and right now I am working on me and I need SP more. (Although, when I have been on FB, I was always glad to see you there!)

    Hope things are gong well with you. Would love to get an update!
    1241 days ago
    Hey I am fanning the flame!!!! Get after it!!! You have learned a lot and you can use it to burn your brightest light!
    2358 days ago
    Great attitude, and I'm behind you 100%! You can do this, and your good habits will help you!
    2358 days ago
    I love your determination and can tell you will accomplish any goal you set. emoticon
    2358 days ago
    Wow! I'm really excited for you. I can tell you are serious now and it WILL happen. I so glad!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2358 days ago
    I know exatly how you feel! I gained back all my weight as well! Thank goodness we can always do it again! As long as we don't quit, we haven't failed!!!!

    2358 days ago
    Don't be discouraged I think alot of us lose and gain back I know I do..the main thing is your emoticon attitude..you are back here and doing what you need to do instead of giving up and I know you will be a great success.. emoticon BIG emoticon Brenda
    2358 days ago
    Know exactly how you feel, and I am with you..we can do this and we will emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2358 days ago
  • -POOKIE-
    Well, welcome back to the Spark... hope it continues to burn!
    2358 days ago
    So proud of you. Keep up the good work and remember you did it today!

    2358 days ago
    I'm right there with you. I got on the scale over the weekend and am right back to where I was back in January. I set some goals for myself...like actually get to the gym not drive by that I need to still do but it is a step in the right direction.
    2358 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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