Monday, October 03, 2011
Sabotage, by definition is a deliberate action aimed at weakening another entity through subversion, obstruction, disruption, or destruction. Self sabotage then is just doing that to yourself.
I have been guilty of self-sabotage. I have been subverting my exercise, obstructing my journey, disrupting my schedule and destroying my diet. Not horribly, mind you, but I have been.
I have all these plans. I love the way thin feels and all that. But I have no follow thru. I really need to get fit, get ridding of my tummy. Lose 30-40 pounds.
I take my dog for a walk every day. But I havenít really been running, I have been walking. I make excuses: not wearing the right sports bra, didnít take my asthma medication, toe hurts blah blah blahÖ I bought a hula hoop, but didnít put it together until today. I have all sorts of exercise videos, Wii workout stuffÖ but not doing a single one. And I can tell Ė my body and my joints ache. Change in weather? Possible. Laziness? Definitely.
I talked about focusing on my diet. Yes, I eat mainly healthy. I love fruits and veggies. I eat mainly whole foods. But there are momentsÖ I want ice cream. I want dates (the fruit, but a date with my husband isnít so bad either). I want chocolate. Guess what? Last week, I had my period. So, I was grumpy and wanting the non-veggie, non-fruit type food even more.
I love water. I love drinking water. I love taking showers. Have I been drinking my water? Nope. Have I been showering every day? Nope.
There was a lot of other stuff happening last week also, not just the spark stuff. We had wonderful visitors from back home for a couple days and the visit was great. They left on Thursday. My husband left for a work trip on Thursday. Our new friends on our new street moved to Chicago on Thursday. Thursday was a difficult one.
SoÖ I was/am going through a little depression. Sabotage.
We just moved to Northern Virginia due to my husbandís job relocation. We left my family, our friends, the kidsí friends. We moved at the end of June. It is now the beginning of October. I still have rooms to organize. A few boxes left to unpack and put away. My plan was to work an hour in each room. One room per day, until it got done. Have I been doing it? Nope. Sitting on my derriere catching up on movies and tv shows that I really donít care about. Me. Really. Sabotage.
Have I been cooking healthy food for the kids? Yes. Have I been eating? No. Not hungry, unless it is really full of good and nummy Swiss chocolate. Luckily I donít have any in the house. But guess what? The scale was not my friend. Yes, it was THAT time of the month, but dangÖ I want to see some progress, even if I donít put all the effort that my body seems to require.
I have errands to do today. But I am waiting for a DHL delivery. Canít go into the shower, because I donít know when they are arriving. Canít go for a walk with the dog, because I donít know when they are arriving. Excuses. So, Iím blogging while catching up on TV shoes on Hulu. Fun, eh? Yes, laundry is going, beds are made, dishes are done, and the hula hoop is put together. But I am sitting on my derriere.
For now, I guess thatís enough. More to come. Hopefully I can kick my patootie and get back into my groove.