My monthly report

Saturday, October 01, 2011

This has been a difficult month for me. My mother passed away. On top of that my therapist decided to go private and my clinic have not found anyone to replace her yet. I am trying to be strong and take one day at a time.

I have been diligent with my fitness routine, I am doing at least 30 minutes of cardio everyday and I recently joined the YMCA. I feel very excited about my workout program. I am very happy with my decision. I now look at working out as something fun. I am starting to enjoy the pain one gets from a good workout. I have been a bit careless about my nutrition, though. The days that I overeat are becoming more and more often. Thus, I need to pay more attention to it. This will be one of my goals for this month, be as diligent with my food tracking as I am with my workouts.

My other goal is to fight the feeling of wanting to isolate myself from others. Whenever I feel that depression is taking the best of me I tend to hide myself from the world, then wallow in self pity, start hating myself for doing nothing and start wishing that I had the courage to kill myself. In the past years, the depression has taken my job, tons of my money, my energy, my self esteem, my trust. I can not allow myself to follow the same path again. I am not going to let myself fall in the cycle of self harm laziness and self hatred. So I am putting myself out there. I am going to let others, the world help me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am sadden to read of the passing of your mother. My sincerest condolences to you.

    This is an important time in your life. Grieving is many things and it can be intensely difficult. It is important for you to get support, doubly so in light of your health and your bereavement. You are in a good position because you are identifying that you are at risk and need support so please be insistent on getting it. The squeaky wheel gets the oil.

    Thinking of you. emoticon emoticon
    2359 days ago
  • JORTAY99
    I am so sorry about your mother....I do not struggle with depression as you do and when I lost my father it was a very difficult time and I ended up in therapy as well. Please push the issue with your clinic and see if they can find you another therapist. You do have your priorities in line. But this is a very difficult time for you and it would not hurt to get that extra backup if you can. My prayers are with you....and to repeat the above post...we are here for you.
    2359 days ago
    Even though you're going through a rough time right now, it sounds like you have your priorities straight. Remember that we're here for you.
    2359 days ago
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