Thursday, September 29, 2011
I've just gone through the most stressful week, possibly of my life. I had two huge essay exams to write (about 30 essay questions total, with tons of research to go for them, to do in a week), along with a third exam to study for. At the same time, my BF moved in with me over the weekend, and we were completely unprepared. Basically, we spent the last week eating take-out (trying to be pseudo-healthy with it), drinking soda, and not sleeping nearly enough. Somehow, probably through stress, I somehow lost a pound. I had a melt-down, though, because in the last month, I'd gained a lot of weight and only lost one pound, while the BF lost 23.
Let me say that again: 23!!!
I'm super happy for him, but I freaked out with super sadness and we had an awful day, because in trying to make me feel better, BF kept making me feel worse. Eventually I got over it enough to remember that it's completely normal for men to lose weight at a super increased rate comparatively to women. I've just never done this with a male partner before. It's always been with a female friend or my mom. It's also rough because he doesn't let things go long enough for me to be sad for a few minutes and get over it. He immediately jumps down my throat with "be happy, be happy, be happy" that I end up getting mad at him, and even more mad at myself.
Anyway, I have one point of victory, even though the week completely sucked, and I didn't do well food wise. Under all this incredible stress, I didn't smoke even one cigarette! (harder than it seems when BF still smokes, and I have to walk through huge clouds of it leaving campus three days a week)
Academic victories, too. I got an 88% on one exam (highest grade in the class!!), and a 96% on another. Woohoo!! No grades up for the third yet, and I have my last midterm tomorrow. I'm not worried about that one at all, though. Also still unpacking BF's stuff and trying to make the apartment a livable home. Part of the reason that we've been doing take-out so much is because after moving all his stuff in, we literally couldn't get into the kitchen to cook. It's getting a lot better, though, as I'm unpacking stuff and getting it all onto shelves.
BF and I had a food discussion the other day, and I gave him an ultimatum. Basically, I said that if he was living with me full time, and actually worried about me being diabetic, that he has to start eating healthier and stop enabling me. He works part-time at a bakery, and brings stuff home from there all the time. He's agreed, but I don't think that he realizes how difficult it actually is in the beginning. Worse off, I don't expect it to last long, if he was serious in his agreement. We'll work it out eventually, though. We're trying to figure out how to afford to save money for an exercise bike at the moment. I have no idea where it'd go, but I like the idea. Some days I ache so much after doing TaeBo or a BL video that I can't physically do it again for days. It's really discouraging, so we're trying to figure out ways to do cardio until I build up enough leg strength that I can consistently do those videos.
I really do want to do this. I'm just...not terribly encouraged right now. I'm working on it, though. Hopefully inspiration will come soon.