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Shallow Girl

Monday, September 26, 2011

I'm getting this in under the wire for my Fierce Fabulous Unstoppable Spark Warrior team. We are to write of our shallow goals for losing weight / getting fit instead of our noble ones.

1. Because seriously, what woman doesn't want a whole new wardrobe, right? Even better is it is justifiable by necessity. Awesomesauce!

2. Boy-shorts. I want.

3. I want to look good in flats, not like a woman who has flattened her shoes.

4. I want shoulders so fit you can see the muscle working.

5. I want to wear my husband out. emoticon

6. No, seriously, I want to wear him out. Kick his spin-cycling @ss at the gym or whatever.

7. I want to get to goal to show all those no-responsibility-kids-are-exc
uses-naysayers that I got fit and yeah I did it with waaaay more on my proverbial plate than you.

8. I want to shove the phrase "like a girl" down their windpipe. D@mn straight. (We can also add the phrase "for a mom" to this now.)

9. I want to be hot & fit so I won't have to spend 50K on a sports car I can't afford to "recapture youth." This is an example but a feeling I want to avoid. I want to run "youth" down, tackle it, maybe smack it around a bit until it admits I'm better. Good health plus wisdom of experience for the win!

10. I want to revel in morning sex.

11. I want to go to Christmas dinner with the family and kick everyone's butt on the Wii boxing bouts and not be winded at all as I holler..."LOSER!"

12. I want to go to my son's summer swim meets in gloriously cool tank tops and running shorts/skorts.

13. I want to do jumping jacks and not wonder who the hell is clapping...oh D@mn that would be me...Look ma, no hands. Bleh.

14. I want to shock my son by whipping out some plyo...and doing more reps than him. (Oh hush, he may be 11yo but he is Baby Phelps and King of Dryland. Someone needs to keep him humble.)

15. I want to buy those running bras with cami-straps.

16. I want to buy sexy shoes that will never touch the floor and don't have to match a damn thing and not feel self-conscious wearing them.

17. In my office, my desk is very visible. I want lingering stares from the 2 cute guys in the government work force (yes, it is that low.) instead of the perverted old geezers with bad hips and belts above their belly buttons.

18. Because I want to wear dresses more and feel more confident in them.

19. Because I want to be that woman who intimidates you.

20. To show my family that yes my sister is not the only pretty one.

21. To run faster so that when out with the dog he actually has to run...In yo face, 4-legged Hound!

22. So that when my son makes the Olympics and the camera pans over to show the parentals, they will assume the athlete gene came from Momma. :D

23. Just once in a while, I want to get to the point that I have to stop exercise because I'm outta time not energy.

24. Because I want my "lazy" days to make others' "intense" days look woeful.

25. With just the view of my backside, I want to encourage more spontaneous flirtation with the hubs. It's a dying art someone has to save it! LOL!

Vanity is not just a vice people. It is an amazing motivator. I intend to use it for every drop of power it has.

Have a happy Monday!

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