Sunday, September 25, 2011
Catch the flu. Run a fever, get stomach cramps (etc), chatter your teeth, get all over body aches and a relentless headache. Keep from falling over in a dead faint by holding on with both hands to the bathroom vanity while crouching on the floor. Eat and drink nothing but ice chips for 24 hours. Resume food the following day with broth and dry toast. Have some dry Cheerios for a late evening snack. Sleep 18 hours and pop Tylenol when the body aches and monster headache resume. Follow on the third day with a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a real glass of cold water. Sleep another 15 hours. Wake up and check the newspaper for the date, because your mind is such a puddle you don't know whether it's day or night. Drag yourself to the shower and stand under the warm water until you find the human being. There! All better now!
Weight loss follows - guaranteed, free. However, most of it is water loss. Most of the weight returns, just like all those other bad diets.
Or, stick with SP instead. It's a lot more fun!