So I was arguing with myself in the locker room of the gym the other day about whether to keep contorting and trying to balance or just dropping the damn towel and getting to the business of getting dressed after my strength workout and swim.


Here is what my kinder self said to the women hiding in the towel while yanking up her underwear,

You look better than
a women who has been through
parenting of four children
the birthing of two of them
the nursing and carrying and nuturing of
boys
the full time job in the prevention and aftermath of crime
the two lower back surgeries while finally completing my long delayed undergrad degree
the cervical neck surgery while completing my intense 18 months masters degree
the discovery of infidelity, and the fight to juggle kids, work and school while struggling through THAT emotional desert.
A divorce after 17 years of marriage
And the struggle to take beliefs and skills to make a true difference in the world.

So I dropped the towel.

I have 194 pounds on a 5'7" frame
I have been swimming for three years, at least three times a week
AND have stepped it up the last two months after joining sparkpeople and eating better.

I look better than I ought to
I'm just fine with right now
and I'm getting better every free weight heft, every swim lap, every walk with a friend.
And when I hit 175 I'm teaching these old joint to run.

Thank you sparkfriends for reading. I think I've made a breakthrough and may I encourage you:
Love your body right now. I think we all look better than where we have been, and we are getting better every day!