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I vow to step out of the family drama....again


Saturday, September 24, 2011

So like many families there is drama. My immediate family is great you know the usual rushing out the door, the kids fighting with each other and cranky kids at bedtime but a piece of cake compared to my extended family. I am the oldest of 5 ...that should be enough said already. Well again I must re-assert my boundries and decide the following:

1. To do what I can to help my siblings but also honor my household family needs.
2. Is my sibling even benefitting from my help right now or are they just not ready to make any change yet (even though they say so but there actions say differently).
3. Remember what my red flags are for getting too involved with my siblings issues. Red Flags = reviewing my siblings options and doing the thought work for them, finding my conversations are dominated by my siblings issues, taking personally my siblings refusal to take advice even when she asks for it.
4. Reviewing my sibling issues with other family members who continue to ruminate on them without any true productivity coming from it.

So tonight Hubby and I are going out to celebrate our 12 th anniversary (it was Sept. 11th). Yayy and even though my siblings wanted to come along I decided to decline the drama. So hubby and I will be dining alone...Yayy for us! And to help my siblings tonight I will say a prayer for them.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CMFARRELL36 9/24/2011 3:36PM

    Nice one - just you adn hubby is GOOD!
Saying a prayer for your siblings - is also GOOD!

Stepping back from other people's negativity isn't always easy, especially when it's someone in the family, or a really close friend.
But you cannot let that person's negativity drain you, constantly.
I agree with you - the highest priority has to go to your kids and your husband. And your relationship with them can only suffer if youa re too involved with someone else's problems. Especially your relationship with your hubby, as he presumably does not want to keep hearing the same stuff. I'm sure he realises you want to be supportive, but I can hear my hubby's brain clicking through "where's the support for me and my problems?"

It is so not easy to try to ease yourself away from a sibling's problems. I think you have taken a tremendously positive step in re0asserting your boundaries.

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