Wednesday, September 21, 2011
We had back to school night for parents last night at my son's school. He just started Kindergarten and it has been a stressful situation. He is constantly getting in trouble on the bus because he doesn't listen and last night he was a terror.
He wouldn't sit still. He wouldn't listen. He kept fidgeting around and yelling out in the middle of the presentations. I kept looking around at all of the well behaved children and wondered why my child can't be like that. I felt like I was being judged for having such a bad child. I am fairly good at reading people and every time my son would yell out or I would tell him to be quiet, another child's parent would turn around and look at me like I am a pathetic parent.
When it came to meeting his teacher I was already at the end of my rope. I had to ask her to fill out a paper for his psychologist (to officially diagnose him). After I asked her she looked at me and said, "Hang in there." and patted my arm. I went outside of the room and just lost it. I was mad at my child for being so horrible and I was mad at the fact that my frustration showed so much. It is hard not to hold him accountable for his actions when I see all of the other children acting normally and listening and being quiet.
Why my child? Patience is not one of my virtues and this is the most trying test I have ever had to deal with.
This has been affecting my weight loss. I am stalled and I have been stressed. I said I was going to be positive from now on but this is a hard thing to get past. I don't know how to handle this situation and it feels like I get more and more frustrated with my son and his actions. He does have the possibility of going on medication soon but that isn't a cure all for his situation.
Sorry, there wasn't really a point of this blog other than to get some feelings out. I have a lot on my plate right now and I am trying to navigate this new territory. Thanks for listening.