Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I am very angry with me. I really think that I need an accountability partner. I am just not ready to be left alone with all of SH** I run into in a day. I crave food so bad, I rationalize those food cravings with a cigarette instead and neither one are good for me. So not only did I kill myself with three donuts for dinner, but I smoked a cigarette as well. Although under normal circumstances I would have enjoyed the taste of the donuts, and I would have enjoyed the cigarette that relaxes me, but the truth of the matter is, is that I didn't enjoy either. I didn't even taste the damn donuts, and I felt really bad for smoking. In the back of my head both the food and the cigarette hurt my workouts and all the hard work I have put in these last two weeks. I am very depressed. I know tomorrow is a new day, and I can chose to make the choices I follow through with, but I am scared that I can't back away from the donuts or the cigarettes.
I have disappointed myself and my family today.