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Monday, September 19, 2011

I'm a skinny FAT girl? Changing more than my body!

There the man sat with his wife starring at me, with his eyes bugged out of his head and he and his wife were whispering as the turned around and looked me up and down. They made sure I knew they were disgusted with my appearance. My son was the person who caught them and was sure I had realized what they were up to and grabbed me and hugged me and said, " aw mommy I am so sorry." I had to ask him what he meant? I saw them, but for some reason it didn't register that they were talking about me, until my son had pointed it out to me. After all, I am a skinny FAT girlie!

Now normally, the nice Kristin in me would be ashamed, embarrassed, sad, critical of myself, and feel like I was an outcast and go off crying in a bathroom or order the menu and eat it all. See, I was in a restaurant and I suppose they felt I had enough to eat without coming in and eating there.

Here is the kicker, they continued to look and make fun of me as if I wasn't standing there. There was no one on my side of the restaurant so they were making it painfully obvious. They looked me up and down, I'd say three or four times and actually made a wrinkled up face. This hurt my son so bad. He went on to tell me how beautiful I looked and continued to hug me.

There is another side to, don't you love how I am talking in third person here LOL!? Where did that come from?

I have a super nice side, which most people see, but my evil twin comes out and I prove I am my mother's daughter. See my mother takes nothing from anyone. She is one tough cookie and she is real nice until you mess with her. Never once have I seen her give someone an inch. If someone talks down to her, well, they will regret it. She had to learn to be tough. But, I never got that, until I started realizing that I am worth something and I don't deserve to be treated illy.

When did that happen? Good question folks!

I would have to say that just started when I wrote my blog, Take Back the Power! I feel powerful and more confident in myself. I refuse to allow someone to treat me like I am a disgusting piece of trash they can walk all over.


As the man continued to look at me, the woman turned away when she noticed I wasn't going to look away. I stood my ground, smiled, and said to my son that you can't always run into people with good manners and that this man has his own issues with weight, but shouldn't throw stones since he was overweight himself and that he wasn't making me feel bad, because I am beautiful, full of love, and have my own "dirty little secret!!" Yep, that's right, my own seceret is knowing that only "I" can hurt myself, that names and people's thoughts and opinions are theirs to believe, but they don't have to be mine.

I am a blessed child of God. God has proven to me that he will walk, run and even carry me during these past nine months and with God's help I am going to be successful and full of the glory of God and that he will continue to work within me for my future weight loss.

Not being the perfect child of God, the mean Kristin came out when the man made a remark and a sound of disgust. My son had stepped away and I believe I said, " Your an A--hole for making a little kid feel bad." I don't think he had thought of it like that. I took my seat and he and his wife sat in shame, but never looked at me again, well, not that I noticed.

See, I feel skinny! I know that is ridiculous, but baby girls, I am SKINNY!

My mind is telling my body that I can do any darn thing I want to do and since losing 176 pounds altogether and 126 with Spark People, my body is feeling slender and full of energy! I am doing things that I haven't done in years and it will only get better.

Best of MIND is catching up to my body, so my dirty little secret of knowing I have lost all this weight and that I am on the road to healthy and fabulous is enough to FINALLY stand up for my values and my beliefs! I am making healthy choices and living life for me. I am no longer going to allow anyone to run over me and take my power from me!

I am POWERFUL! I am a WILDFIRE! I am a SKINNY FAT GIRL! I'm CHANGING more than my body!

If you made it this far, thank you for being my friend. For being supportive and for being there when I need you most. I love all the Sparkers, but I want to make mention of a few that keep me going daily.

Jman222, Losin4lish, Indygirl, MNGIRLIE, CarolAnn27, Cookwithme65, Sleeptalks, Pookie, Jbarstow, angelsandybaby, Andeennate, smarged, Kerlin26, 100x50, Sparklise, sparkshell11, STSCOTT11, Teeny-Bikini, MichiganLori, JazzeJr, Richila, Rockthisday, and a special thanks to someone who makes me feel so loved and cherished and was God sent.


If you haven't met these ladies, drop in their pages. They have enough love in their hearts to share with the whole spark community! Each of them bring something new to my life often.

Message to all the SPARKERS!

Each of you have touched my heart in someway, which is why we are friends. Please know I love you all and want everyone to feel positive and energized always! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO, EVEN IF EVERYONE ELSE SAYS YOUR FAT...YOUR SKINNY TO ME!

Wishing anyone who reads this great health and happiness!

Love ya!

Kristin Me working out to Coach Nicole's video...hear me roar girlies!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MELLYBEANS0919 11/27/2011 6:18PM

    What a powerful, and beautiful person you are!! :-)

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PRINCESSAA12 11/10/2011 11:39AM


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PATTYGRAY 10/25/2011 4:31PM

    You are truly special and so much in my thoughts and heart everyday!! A true sparker!!

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BNELEPHANT 10/25/2011 3:17PM

  In the beginning of your story I was thinking you were going to say happened in like high school, but then I kept reading. I cannot believe people are that rude. Actually I take that back, and they are. Good for you for being their for your son and making sure that 'words & looks didn't hurt you.' You stand proud knowing we are all behind you. Good luck with the rest of your journey! I hope people like that quickly learn a valuable lesson to treat others how you would like to be treated.

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ANNEBURNELL 10/25/2011 6:54AM

    Thank you so much for sharing! You are awesome.

Stay strong,

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IFYOUCANICAN2 10/24/2011 3:21PM

    Wow! Thank you so much for this post! You are an inspiration to me. Congratulations on the weight loss, bot more importantly, congratulations on fixing your mind. You are right, you don't have to believe others thoughts and feelings. You are in control of your own! Keep up the awesome work!

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100STEPSUP 10/19/2011 10:41PM

    Wow! You are u believable!!!

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100STEPSUP 10/19/2011 10:12PM

    Wow! You are u believable!!!

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    That WildFire that burns inside of you is an amazing spirit! Thank you for reminding me that we are our biggest fans and we must love ourselves or continue to change who we are. Keep on keeping on woman......your family and us Sparkers are lucky to have you on our team!!!

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JIVANA108 10/15/2011 7:05PM

    Powerful blog....fabulous mindset that is catching up with your amazing physical changes!! You rock:)

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CRAZYLADYMOM84 10/14/2011 3:53PM

  YOU ARE AMAZING! enough said

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CULAINA 10/14/2011 2:49PM

    sorry to jump in late but i've just seen this and i had to tell you that you are simply amazing. how dare people think it's ok to treat people like that and how brave of you to call them out about it. go girl!

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AMRN65 10/12/2011 6:49AM

    Had to share this blog on my facebook. Loved it!!!

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LUCKYONE60 10/9/2011 12:56AM

    Wow. You totally rock. What an inspiration you have been to me today. Thank you and keep up the good work!

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GARDENQE2 10/6/2011 6:33PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PURPLESPARK89 10/1/2011 8:27AM

    oops!! I am SO sorry for the triple comment! lol!

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PURPLESPARK89 10/1/2011 8:26AM

    Girl you are amazing. I love and admire your spirit, infinitely inspiring!! Thank you for reminding me and everyone else to love themselves!

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PURPLESPARK89 10/1/2011 8:26AM

    Girl you are amazing. I love and admire your spirit, infinitely inspiring!! Thank you for reminding me and everyone else to love themselves!

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PURPLESPARK89 10/1/2011 8:21AM

    Girl you are amazing. I love and admire your spirit, infinitely inspiring!! Thank you for reminding me and everyone else to love themselves!

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SHWIGGITYWOO 9/27/2011 10:27AM

  What a lot of insight. I am so glad that you stood up to those two. What a powerful message to your son. You are amazing and beautiful. emoticon

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HILDABRAND 9/27/2011 9:23AM

    Oh baby, You are Beautiful!! and amazing!

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STACESTACE 9/27/2011 12:32AM

  LOVED your post. GREAT JOB!!!!!! emoticon

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GREENTHUMB70 9/26/2011 2:06PM

    I love your attitude!

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RENEWIE 9/26/2011 11:01AM

    You are AWESOME!!! Thank you for the inspiration. It truly is what we tell ourselves that matters... It is time for some new conversations on my end. Thank You.

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NINAVEE 9/26/2011 10:08AM

    I can so relate ... and I love the way you think!

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BRAND-NEW-DAY 9/26/2011 8:42AM

    Thanks for this!

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1FORME2 9/25/2011 6:58PM

  You AMAZE me!Thanks so much for sharing.

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BEYOURBEST1 9/25/2011 4:24PM

    You are doing a great job and I love your attitude.
Those two are a major embarrassment to themselves. They have so much
stupidity that they could not hide it even if they wanted to.
Yay for you and your little boy, you both rock!

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LOVESGARDEN 9/25/2011 1:19PM

  you rock !

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RUN2BEFREE 9/25/2011 10:00AM

    What an awesome blog! You are inspiring! Thanks for sharing your story!

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BEINGTHERE1 9/25/2011 8:54AM

  You are awesome Kristin!! Thanks for the inspiration. I saw a quote recently that went like this, "It is none if my business what other people think about me". What a great example of keping up your courage and strength despite the insensitivity of others. You are a blessed being.

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SPARKLISE 9/24/2011 11:53AM

    Isn't it ironic how people with weight issues themselves talk down to others with weight issues?!
It's disgusting really how people view others that are overweight.
I can understand skinny people because you can't fully understand what you never experienced. But still.
Good for you for not backing down and putting him in his place.
You are strong and a fighter.
You go girl! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TEXASFILLY 9/24/2011 10:38AM

    "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here." *hugs*

Good for you in standing up for yourself, dear heart. Congratulations on your AWE~some success! Keep it up, girl! All things are possible with God. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon All the best, BonnieBlue~ emoticon

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PAMNANGEL 9/24/2011 2:17AM

    emoticon You go girl!

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BETTERHEALTH123 9/23/2011 8:49PM

    There are so many ignorant people in this world. I'm glad you stood up to them.

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ARCHIMEDESII 9/23/2011 1:59PM

    emoticon !! You've got a great son and a great upbeat attitude !


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KAKEPO 9/23/2011 12:31PM

    Wow! I haven't read your blog before but just chance I found you today. This has me crying and cheering for you and I'm awe inspired by you! Way to go on your weight loss and here's encouraging you onward!

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IGSBETH 9/23/2011 12:17PM

    Yay for you!

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TRUETOU 9/23/2011 11:06AM

    you go girl...

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LAUREEN629 9/23/2011 9:53AM

    Great post, congrats on what you've accomplished and what you are teaching your son too!!! Remember that people often look at others to avoid seeing their own flaws, good for you for speaking up and may your journey continue to have more rewards, as you walk among the pebbles that can trip us up.

Hugs, Laureen

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APLECHATY 9/23/2011 7:14AM

    Well spoken. I am proud of you for standing your ground and letting them know exactly how idiotic they were behaving. Stay strong and always remember it is your own opinion that matters the most. I am glad to know that you are secure and confident with who you are never let anyone take that away from you.

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ERIGUST 9/23/2011 1:15AM

    Awsome blog! It is shocking to me, the lack of love and kindness some people show. My question js, why did that couple care? How in the world did your weight affect them in any way? You just have to feel sorry for people like that. I would hate to be that miserable and full of negativity and judgement. Keep doing what you're doing, your doing AWSOME and are a great role model for your son! We are all unique children of God, and all have value and worth. Yes, even that pathetic couple in the restaurant. I hope that can know that someday. Keep up all your great work!

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DRB13_1 9/23/2011 1:11AM

    As they say about the military "you've done more before 9am than most people do all day." You've lost more than most people could even imagine, and you deserve all the pats on the back and support as you keep inspiring us with your wonderful spirit!

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LADYGSC 9/23/2011 1:06AM

    Wonderful blog!! Congratulations on your weight loss and God bless you richly!!! Keep on sparking!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUSTLEALAH 9/22/2011 11:48PM

    That's one of the best stories I've heard in awhile, kudos to you! And it makes me just want to smack that guy AND his wife for making your sweet little boy feel like that! What's ridiculous is that some people look at you like you're so disgusting, but they are way more disgusting with their actions and manners than an overweight person could ever be. You rock it!!!!

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LROSEEN 9/22/2011 10:14PM

    Good for you, and I'm glad you spoke up. NO one deserves to be treated that way, period. They should be ashamed of themselves, and you have every reason to be proud--for multiple reasons. It sounds like you have a wonderful son AND are setting a wonderful example for him. Blessings!

~Lenorapan> emoticon

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TIME4ME-CHERYL 9/22/2011 10:08PM

    emoticon emoticon

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YIWEN39 9/22/2011 9:56PM

    Great attitude! You are worth it, girl, and you know it! Keep up the good work, both mental and physical. Keep sparking!

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CARLY9578 9/22/2011 9:46PM

    Thanks for reminding me about the importance self-esteem and a positive mindset. Kudos to you for celebrating all you've accomplished and not letting anyone get you down! Self-hatred has never done anyone any good. emoticon

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KIPPER15 9/22/2011 9:42PM

    "let he who has no sin cast the first stone" You go girl, the thin within can win! emoticon

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Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.