100-249 SparkPoints 104

8 lbs down in two weeks.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

I saved up a bit of money since the last time I posted and went out to buy The South Beach Diet, and also one of the South Beach Diet cook books. I'll have been on the diet for two weeks starting tomorrow. The wonderful thing is I don't particularly crave sugar anymore. I still eye chocolate, but I think that's a stress thing.

I'll admit, on Monday I caved in and had birthday cake. I wasn't planning on it, but I am a stress eater and I've had unfortunate news. My father was hospitalized last week, and we found out he had cancer on Saturday.. but not what type until Wednesday. They were putting him through all sorts of tests and kept saying conflicting things. At first they told us they ruled out colon cancer... and yeah, that's what he turns out to have. He's stage 4, and it has mestatsis in his stomach.

I feel bitter on that topic. He's been sick for so long but they kept saying it was a virus, or GERD, or he's been too stressed lately. They never ever bothered to pursue it further even after all the times he was in the hospital.. and now he's in the last stage of cancer. After chemo he was so weak, and the chemical they put in your arm is toxic to the nerves.. so it's painful to the touch. He looked so miserable.

I still have managed to stay mostly on track with the diet despite the devastating news. I never want to find out test results on my birthday again, though. It was the first year I didn't have a birthday party in my life... though, I do understand the circumstances. It was still horrible depressing. I'm ready for this year to be over. I know it's negative and all... but it seems like every other month or so I'm dealing with the next disaster. I know life is full of them, but these have been brutal. The loss of my home, assaulted in my own home, fire, and now cancer... It's hard to stay positive.

I canceled my Y membership. The price is going up next month and we were having a hard time paying it as it was. I never took advantage of the classes, so it also didn't make sense to pay 62 a month to run on a treadmill. We switched over to Snap Fitness. I'm a night owl, so the 24 hour nature of the place makes it more convenient to me. Plus, Ms. Critters gets a military discount AND it's in walking distance. I'm looking forward to using their Basic 8 program. I'll report if I find it useful or not.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I feel your pain and sense of hopelessness. Life hits hard sometimes, but there is always a reason. I believe that with my whole heart. Try yoga and meditation as well as the gym, and pray if you are a believer. All three things make a huge difference. Hang in there, you aren't alone. Remember that food is like a drug, it may up your seratonin levels for awhile, or ease the stress....but only for as long as it takes to chew and swallow. Then it is over, and all you feel is worse.
    2164 days ago
    It's hard getting news like that. My dad has been fighting cancer since I was 13. This last year they found three tumors. I haven't quite been able to process it. I just keep reminding myself that every year since 1986 (when they first found it) has been a gift.

    There is no such thing as a good time to make a change. There is also no such thing as a bad time.

    My heart goes out to you. emoticon
    2165 days ago
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