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    GEORGIA_KAY   36,725
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints

September Switch

Friday, September 16, 2011

Hi Folks, for those of you who've known me for any length of time, you'll know, or have guessed--by my very absence, that I've been off my eating and exercise plan for awhile. About 6 weeks now, more or less. I had some health issues, family concerns, and other worries that I allowed to throw me into relapsing from the all important job of taking care of myself. When that happens--and oh yes, it's happened before, I usually stay away from SP due to an unhealthy mixture of guilt, shame and self-disgust. A really good friend on here calls me a "Flight Risk" and as much as that made me smile (thanks, Kate), I can't help but admit it's an apt title. Another good friend on here, after accepting my apologies for giving her a good scare with my being away so long without a word from me, wrote me a few things that really touched me, and gave me food for thought. I hope Di doesn't mind that I'm going to share those words here.

"But here is one thing I really, truly hope that you will make your goal for the rest of this year: and that is to STOP believing that you do not deserve to be here if you are doing poorly. When you are just maintaining along...not losing but just up and down a teeny bit...or losing are on SP and active. The moment you fall into a 'relapse' (for lack of better term) you go away. And it is not because you think we'll throw you away, but because of some expectation you have of yourself that you are supposed to not ever do that. And I am here to tell you that just isn't true. You ALWAYS deserve to be here, you are always wanted here, everyone misses you when you're gone...and the absence has a way of feeding into that sense of self-loathing that makes it okay for you to keep in the relapse. I understand it-truly i do. But I would like for you to TRY next time you're in a full blown chocolate-pit to just stay here and see what happens."

These words really hit home--because I realised of course, that that's exactly what I always do. I do have these impossible self-expectations of perfection that are really just a perfect set-up for failure. No-one can be perfect all the time. I do know that, at least in my head I do, and when I see a friend slipping by the wayside, I'm the first one to tell her or him that no one gets it right all the time, and that THIS IS A PROCESS NOT AN EVENT, And I honestly, genuinely, truly believe that----when it applies to them, but somehow, when I start to falter, I never seem able to apply these affirmations to myself, but instead, just slink away to lick my own wounds. It's like a switch shuts down in my head and I turn myself OFF. That's it. Closed for business. Pull down the shades. Well, I want to change all that. I want to shut that switch off for good. I want to make myself open and available to all the help I can get.

I want to make a promise to myself -and to my dear friends, that I will honestly try and do just that. The next time I feel one of these funks coming on, and I start self-medicating with my drug of choice (chocolate, I know you can hear me) I promise to stay and "see what happens"...or as Kate also says..."Fake it until you can make it". And I will.

Thanks, friends, and I mean all of my friends here on SP, for always being there for me--even when I'm not there for myself. You are all simply THE BEST!


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
READY2LOSE200 9/28/2011 7:34PM

  I have totally been where you were - more times than I would like to admit. I start doing poorly and then I just stop showing up. It's sad that we do that, especially since those are the times we need the support the most. I guess it's human nature. With that said, I am so glad you found your way back.

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    Glad to see you back.

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SUSSA1222 9/19/2011 1:36PM

    I'm glad you're back! We all go through those not so perfect times! I am a lot like you. When I mess up I feel like hiding as well. Definately stay on next time. Mabey let us all know you are starting to feel that way again, and we can give you that extra encouragement you need! emoticon

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BESTCK 9/19/2011 12:58PM

    Thank you for sharing this, Georgia. I totally agree with DI. It's so easy for us to pull away from SP when we feel bad, but so important that we stay!

I cannot tell you how helpful it is to me when I'm feeling like I just want to give up and dive headfirst into a bag of Doritos to have Spark Friends. I log on and find that there are at least half a dozen of us that are having EXACTLY the same kind of day/problem/mood. I start encouraging and motivating them and, before I realize I've done it, I've motivated myself, too.

I'm glad you're back!

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LISA0517 9/19/2011 9:21AM

    emoticon emoticon GEORGIA! emoticon emoticon

I been so worried about you girl! emoticon emoticon

I am so happy you are back! I totally understand what you mean, because I tend to do that myself. But I find that if I just suck it up, and keep posting encouragement for other people, I tend to end up encouraging myself.

I am so very glad you are back. I missed you terribly!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 9/16/2011 11:38PM

    Love you, Georgia, and we're in this TOGETHER. I need you here with me! I loved Kate's "flight risk"...that made me smile. We're sisters of the soul, you know...we truly are. emoticon

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LINDAINALABAMA 9/16/2011 11:04PM









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CTUPTON 9/16/2011 6:57PM

    Please don't leave again! I need to know how others handle these situations. If my life were perfect, maybe(maybe) I could control my food. Even then, I'd find some excuse to over eat, I'm sure. When asked to a party when I was in my 20's, I often did not show up. I thought, who cares if I go or not? And I even thought the party would be better if I didn't show up! I look back and can't believe it. I thought everyone was better than me! Yes, that is sad.

Get rid of that feeling that makes you put yourself down. You are way more important to us than whether you stuck to your diet -or didn't! Stinkin' thinkin.'

emoticon emoticon Chris

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    Thank goodness for Kate and Di. They are so right. If being perfect were a requirement for being here I wouldn't have lasted a week. LOL. You just have to ride out the bad times. I'm in one now and I'm not going to give up. I will make it through it. You will too.

Comment edited on: 9/16/2011 4:35:30 PM

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GRINGUITA 9/16/2011 2:56PM

    I'm so glad to see you back. I missed you and all your sparking. You always make me feel involved even when I just lurk because I can't think of anything to say. You are a very special lady and I am so glad you are in my life!
Bev Anne

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WOUBBIE 9/16/2011 12:22PM

    Wow. Just wow.

Really motivational post! Thank you and thanks to Di! Very well put!

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_KATHY 9/16/2011 11:18AM

    No, Georgia, YOU are the best and I don't know what I'd do without out you.
Love you

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GIRLINMOTION 9/16/2011 10:17AM

    "Dear Georgia, remember no man is a failure who has friends. Love Clarence."


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GINGER_LOSTALOT 9/16/2011 9:00AM

    Hooray for Di! I couldn't have phrased it better. As the 12-step phrase goes, "Keep coming back. It works if you work it. Work it because you're worth it." And "Bring the body, the mind will follow." We love you and accept you in any condition because our love is unconditional. This is NOT Biggest Loser. No one will banish you. In fact, we NEED your presence, regardless of your condition. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DOREMI1 9/16/2011 7:58AM

    Hello dear, you have so beautifully expressed the struggle so many of us face with managing our health and weight. You are not alone and I for 1 am SO happy to have read your blog. Di is absolutely right...this is a process not an event! Enjoy the comfort of spinning a wheel, drinking water and checking it off, reading blogs breathing and breathing out. Your bless us all with your presence. emoticon

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