Sunday, September 11, 2011
Looks like it's a quiet here at SP. 9/11 is a tough time. I think we all feel we we're there that day, not just watching the horror, but living it.
I love NY and have spent many great times there. Sometimes weeks, sometimes short weekends of shopping ,sightseeing, eating at the finest resturants, grabbing a bottle of wine and cheese and soaking in a tub. No cares in the world....except being with the man I loved. Joe....we walked thru the towers everyday... on his way to work (he was a CEO at a web firmback then).
When we decided it was right for us....I moved to Palm Springs California... I flew with my cat here and was so happy...the next morning I woke up only to see the 2nd plane fly thru the 2nd tower. I felt sick and yet I felt sooo lucky too...as I sat crying in unbelief of what was happening and for all those that we're struggling to get out....then as the towers came down and the silence began , I felt nothing. Almost ashamed that I was so lucky to have made it to where my future was just starting. Sick in my stomach with grief for those families who we're looking for their loved ones, just made me feel all that much more sad.
Now that Joe has left...do I still feel lucky? Maybe.Maybe there is something I was sent here to do besides live a selfish happy ever after. Maybe helping the oldsters here IS my calling. If it cost me a man who was so self centered not to be able to share his love for me with others, than he was never the right person for me. I could never say no to anyone who needs me.
Even though I don't actually know what the future will bring...I still lucky to have a chance to wake up everyday and make my own choices. The choice of how I want to be, not only in my body but in my soul. So everyday, I will make each one count...as if it were my last...because we never know, do we?