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Sunday, September 11, 2011

Evening Everyone:
Looks like it's a quiet here at SP. 9/11 is a tough time. I think we all feel we we're there that day, not just watching the horror, but living it.

I love NY and have spent many great times there. Sometimes weeks, sometimes short weekends of shopping ,sightseeing, eating at the finest resturants, grabbing a bottle of wine and cheese and soaking in a tub. No cares in the world....except being with the man I loved. Joe....we walked thru the towers everyday... on his way to work (he was a CEO at a web firmback then).

When we decided it was right for us....I moved to Palm Springs California... I flew with my cat here and was so happy...the next morning I woke up only to see the 2nd plane fly thru the 2nd tower. I felt sick and yet I felt sooo lucky I sat crying in unbelief of what was happening and for all those that we're struggling to get out....then as the towers came down and the silence began , I felt nothing. Almost ashamed that I was so lucky to have made it to where my future was just starting. Sick in my stomach with grief for those families who we're looking for their loved ones, just made me feel all that much more sad.

Now that Joe has I still feel lucky? Maybe.Maybe there is something I was sent here to do besides live a selfish happy ever after. Maybe helping the oldsters here IS my calling. If it cost me a man who was so self centered not to be able to share his love for me with others, than he was never the right person for me. I could never say no to anyone who needs me.

Even though I don't actually know what the future will bring...I still lucky to have a chance to wake up everyday and make my own choices. The choice of how I want to be, not only in my body but in my soul. So everyday, I will make each one if it were my last...because we never know, do we?

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you all for sharing with me. God is if only more people could be.
    2376 days ago
  • MS5835
    Jan, love your blog. As important as it is to reflect on the past, we all need to focus on the here and now, and take one day at a time, one step at a time. You have so many strengths, which I'm sure will lead you to your new beginnings.
    Love you girlfriend.
    2381 days ago
    Loved your blog! This has been a reflective day indeed. This is a new beginning for you - and that, my friend is always bright. It seems to be our human nature to not hear what our spirit is trying to tell us. Maybe we should reflect more :) If we could ALL live like it's our last day the world would be an amazing place......

    um. Not sure there would be any ice cream or cheese cake left though!!!
    2381 days ago
  • SPEEDY143
    Every day is emoticon make it count emoticon
    2381 days ago
    This is indeed a hard time for everyone especially all the lives that been lost and it is a very sad time. One of my girl friend from school was working couple of blocks from world trade center her life change forever and she couldn't work in NY any more and put in for a transfer to NJ and she still have night mares from that and she is in therapy and has been for years. who knows why we were spare from certain things at certain times maybe God has other plans for us.
    2381 days ago
    Thank's so much for this blog. God is good.
    2381 days ago
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