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20,000-24,999 SparkPoints 23,803

My aha moment

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I have had a hard time staying on my eating plan. I haven't. I sat down today trying to figure out what was going on and, then, aha. I am a people pleaser. Somewhere along the line of trying to get this sitting business together and trying to help hubby get his social security disability, I settled back into my insecure people pleasing mode. This mode includes worrying about not being good enough to other people. Worried I might say the wrong thing, especially when voicing an opinion. Worried that hubby would feel I wasn't doing enough. He has never said I haven't. This is all me.

I have been consumed with worry. My hubby says I have a horribly low self esteem. I guess he is right. I have always been this way. At least, now I realize what is causing this last binge. I hope this next week I can bring my eating under control and worry less. I need a new mind set.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v CELEST
    So many things in this life can leave us feeling insecure/tired/hurt etc but when its all said.......we still have the weight issue. So just keep trying. Dont stop starting. One of those starts is going to work.
    1721 days ago
    Do I need to come up there and kick you in the backside? You are a wonderful person! If you were criticized and had your bad manners pointed out to you, you could either change or argue the point. If it is that horrid little voice in your head, she is wrong. EVICT HER. Go back to your old blogs and see how far you have come. Realize all the wonderful things you do. If you do see something you don't like, figure out a way to improve it. You have learned the steps to making change happen. I know that you have.

    So take that deep breath, or two or three. Arm yourself with confidence (even if you draw on mine and fake yours). Kick out the little liar in your head, it will make it easier for you to lift your head higher. And hang in there. You can do it. I know you can.
    emoticon emoticon
    1721 days ago
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