I just read my spark page entry from earlier this year!!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Yes, Self Care (Soul Care) was going to be one of my goals for this year and here I am doing it!
Of course I got so carried away helping everyone else..I forgot about me...as a result I was forced into stopping all activity and that really got my attention. I am feeling much better. Went of a kayak paddle for one and a half hours!! Loved getting back on board!!
I've also gotten back on the eliptical for 20 to 30 minutes at a time. It's in the easiest setting, but I have to start our slowly.
I was reminiscing about three months ago when my life had spun out of control. God always brings me back to the Twelve Steps...Step Number One: Admitting I am Powerless...Over the things controlling my life....
There comes a point where I just can't do it by myelf. But thiis Powerlessness is a good thing. I makes me realize I'm not in control. I can't control and manage others or the situation.
I'm just me.
My next screen name will be that, "I'm just me."
No false pretenses...No trying to impress someone by carrying out a task that takes two people...so that I don't dissapoint anyone or "rock the boat."
And then this brought me to step number two.
I Came To Believe That a Power Greater Than Myself Could Restore Me To Sanity.
Our Pastor gave a sermon one Friday night...(yea we have church on Friday night.)
He talked about how swimmers may get taken out by a riptide and swim and swim until they're tired and often times the life guard will swim out to save them... Unfortunately the tired and disoriented swimmer may stuggle and try to fight the life gaurd off!!! But if they just relax and stop fighting....let the life gaurd bring them in they will be safe. Another thing I've learned about riptides is that you should not try to swim against them, straight toward the beach but swim lengthwise along the beach until you are out of the riptide, then toward the beach.
I found a correlation between this analogy and how the second step applies to my life...
Once I fianally rested and let my Higher Power take control ( and that only took three months!! LOL! )....The answers started coming to me...I know one thing I don't want to be in a situation where I am forced or expected to do more than I am capeable of doing...I need to say no or find other circumstances where it's not a problem. And I've been so much more creative when I am rested and not "Pushed".
Not to be concieted but I'm finding that I like me!!!