Of New vs. Old and Ziplines!
Friday, September 09, 2011
I’ve been off Spark for a while now. Well, actually a whole week….probably to my friends it seems like longer. All I do really is read the status updates and the blogs….well, that’s not just ‘all I do really’. It’s essential for me and the main reason I’m still on Spark. Everyone is very encouraging with what they write, popular bloggers aside even. I really should comment more but I’ve been enjoying in the background. I got back on yesterday after my weeks absence and realized that after 6 or 7 days the blogs are not included in my friend feed anymore. How disappointing to have missed those few days of blogs. That’ll teach me! :)
I’ve been reading in the background on here but have been off my plan for a few months now. I remember taking a break after the bike tour and just when I was ready to get back into everything and on track, I sprained my ankle…..which threw out my back even more than it already was. I had started to go to the chiro for my back pain before the ankle thing happened….and had gotten orthotics just before that. My body has gone through a huge adjusting period. I still think there’s adjusting going on…..there have been very few days that I have not been in pain, in one way or another.
I think for a time it helped that I was in pretty good shape. I could relax my eating and exercise and maintain. But then the muscle left me and my not doing anything went on too long. When my ankle happened and I couldn’t even walk, the pounds decided it was time to pile on.
Now I’ve weighed myself on three different scales during my journey….the one at the gym, the one in my bathroom and the WiiFit. The WiiFit was my standard up until our basement got flooded last year. I have yet to find my current weight as per that….it had me at a low weight of 174 at one point. The gym scale had me at a low of 171 in May or June. I stepped on the bathroom scale yesterday morning and it read 185. That number itself doesn’t shock me or put me at dismay. I’ll take 185 over 265 any day. It’s just the fact that I’ve gained as much as 15 pounds in this whole journey that really kind of upsets me.
At this point in my journey this is my first major set back. The first time that I feel like the old Kelly is making an appearance….the Kelly who doesn’t care, eats for the sake of eating mindlessly and is just numb to it all. This is the first time I’ve allowed myself to gain so much back….old Kelly is having her way for sure. Right now, I don’t have a goal in my head, I have such pain in my back and I almost don’t care that I’m making excuses (old K). Not to mention the fact that I have zero motivation to get off my butt and do anything (yep, old K). It doesn’t help that I’m in a job that is taking me no where, that’s boring me to tears and I have no motivation to escape.
Well that was a downer.
Let’s talk about some positive things now….J and I celebrated our first anniversary last weekend with an amazing weekend in Jasper. We geocached our brains out. I just love Geocaching just for the fact that it gets us outside walking and takes us to amazing places that we would never know about if not for a cache. Even here in the city…..we find little corners just waiting to be discovered. :) It’s been a great summer for us in that regards. I’m almost thinking about starting to blog about our caching adventures. Some of the places and cache containers and contraptions are just so cool!
We went on a Zipline!!! Can you believe it??? I had always wanted to go on a zipline when I hit my goal weight. I’m not really near goal weight and am even further away now but we decided to do it anyways on our first anniversary. Yeah, I wanted to do it and when we got there I was scared out of my brain! As we drove towards the site I was scared out of my brain. We got all harnessed up and got driven up the hill....and I was scared out of my brain. You have to walk down a huge slope of a roof and then just jump off. And it’s like a leap with arms forward and you’re on your stomach flying through the air. Well, I screamed the whole way. Even though I was terrified, I was glad I did it….after coming back down to ground level of course. One of my overcoming my fear thoughts was of my Spark friend -MARYJANE-. She wrote a blog not too long ago about confronting her fear and going on a zipline. It's quite good....er, hope this works....
I knew if she could do it, I could do it. :) And I did it! I almost would like to experience it again with hopefully less fear, so I could enjoy the moment more.
Now in terms of what will get me motivated to move on the road to health again. I have various ideas. I know I need to have a more regular presence on Spark. I feel the lack of close friends in ‘real life’ and I know there is a treasure trove of them here to discover if I just take the time to put myself out there. In terms of goals……well, there is a mini triathlon next May that both Joce and I have our sights on…..which could lead to a bigger (yet still mini) one in August or September (this would definitely be new Kelly territory). There is, of course, the duathlon that I did not get to accomplish this year. We have gym memberships….which includes the recumbent bike. That bike seemed to be ok on my lower back when I used it in physio. I have yet to get back to the gym since I finished with the personal trainer. I’m still rolling around the idea of starting with her again. The money is a huge issue because it’s not cheap….but it would mean structured strength training! I have yet to get on my regular bike, but I think I will get it tuned up and get fitted to it…..it’ll park on the inside trainer within a few months anyways, so it wouldn’t hurt. I also have a number of strength exercises that I received from physio for my ankle and from the chiro for my back.
These are all great ideas but until I find my motivation again I’m stuck. There are so many challenges to join, teams to join, trackers to use on here, so many exercises to try and geocaches to go find. I just need to figure out my priorities and thus figure out a routine and just get going again. New Kelly has to resurface again full board and kick these 15 pounds to the curb!
Hey, if I can jump off a building and fly through the air, I can do anything right?
Member Comments About This Blog Post
Sorry u've been having a kinda hard time, i know how it feels to be ''numb to it all'' and i gotta tell ya that as many times i've fallen into that particular hole, i still have no earthly idea how to avoid it (but thankfully at least i can say that as with all things - it too doesnt last 4ever).
You'll be ok .
2084 days ago
Hey girl, it's all good, you made the important recognition that you know you need to get back on track. So with that in your mind you know what and how to do it and you will as soon as you are 100% commited. You know that's what it takes. Makinga lifestyle change is no different than any other part of life, it has it's ups and it's downs, these are our hurdles to jump after we knock one over and fall. You have all the knowledge, you'll know when it's time to get up and start again.
YOU CAN DO IT !!!
2085 days ago
if you need me to come and kick the old k's *ss, let me know ....setbacks are just that, a set back, but, it's not a full on stop, which i know you know, so keep moving forward!!! congrats on your anniversary!! that is awesome, and sounds like you had some fun!!
i would not zipline, afraid of heights, BUT, i will happily wave at you from the land below ......keep moving forward, you got this, and if you need any reminders of how awesome you are, just look at those gorgeous pictures you did a while back...that's the NEW kelly my friend, and one i know is going to go and kick some *ss!!
2086 days ago
I'm so proud of you for "taking the plunge"! You are so right, if you can jump off of a building and fly through the air, you CAN do anything. Your motivation will come. In the meantime, JUST DO IT!
Thank you so much for including me and my zipline blog in your story. I'm so gratified and touched that you had me in your thoughts. If I could do it at well over 200 pounds and only 4'10 all while being absolutely terrified of heights and falling...ANYONE CAN DO IT! There is no excuse not to live NOW!
2086 days ago
Boy do I understand where you're coming from! When one thing goes, everything goes! :( I know new Kelly will resurface soon. Just keep making her feel welcome, and she'll tiptoe out. I'm working on the same thing, personally. One day at a time! By the way, that's AMAZING that you went on a zipline! I've always wanted to do that (despite my similar terror at the thought of it!). You are a warrior, so yes, you can do this!!!
2086 days ago
I am going Ziplining Next July to start my new life! I have a fear of heights... I can go up but I have a hard time coming down. I think this will be a great freeing way to start my new life. Good for you! and hey... at least you became aware of your gain at 15 instead of 30 or more!! Keep spark-ling
2086 days ago
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