I've only been Sparking for 2 days and have already lost 3 pounds. I stayed away from feeding the late afternoon munchie-monster again yesterday through sheer force of will. She wants to go wild through the kitchen; she really does. But I said no-no-no and held her back. I wonder how long I can do that. Maybe one day it won't be so hard. Maybe I am breaking the habit.

After all, I broke the smoking habit, and staying away from cigarettes got easier as time went by.

As far as the freeloaders at my house - my son and his girlfriend - I have been talking with my husband. He keeps unloading on me how he's mad about this, that, and the other thing that has happened, and I told him this morning that we have to cut our losses as far as the past is concerned and formulate a plan for the future. It's complicated. On the one hand, our son wants us to treat him like an independent adult (he's 31). On the other, he acts like a rebellious child, so expecting to get his agreement for any contract we come up with looks pretty much impossible.

We really need to get them out. I'd keep the grandson (age 3) and raise him if I could, but reality is that I have no rights as far as he is concerned. It doesn't matter how attached I am or how much better I think I am for him than they are (after all - I don't do drugs), if they wanted to flit off to some crack house and take him today, I couldn't stop them. I could report them, but I already know that it takes CPS forever to follow through, and they're unlikely to do anything on a verbal report alone. No; it's sad. The grandson would have to come to harm first. Or they would have to be arrested.

When I have anxiety like this, I feed it. That's how I got up to over 200 pounds. However, I'm beginning to see that there's nothing unique about my situation. It's life. Some times are better and some are worse, but we all deal with stresses that test our resolve to take care of ourselves, don't we?