Thursday, September 08, 2011
not my sparkversary, but my wedding anniversary.
one of my new years resolutions was to be closer to my wedding weight. didn't happen. not even close. so that got me to thinking last night about where i am and where i want to be. i hate that i don't have children. i hate how far into debt i am. and i hate the condition of my health. i know i've been saying this for long time now. i just can't seem to get a grip on what i need to do to accomplish the health goal. i've been doing great workingout, but my eating/drinking habits are still out of control. i know with summer ending i'll behave better. but will my workout slide with the upcoming bad weather (meaning cold fall/winter stuff). right now i walk for 30 minutes on my lunch break. i do want to add more cardio, but i'm still dealing with my wanting to get out of bed early enough. this kills me since i'm a morning person. i just can't get myself to get up til the last minute. i fear if i don't conquer this now i'll just not workout once it gets cold.
i'm going to concentrate on my goals this fall. i always say this, but i get sidetracked and lose my ambition. i'm not going to do that this time! i have to get my life the way i want it. i can't stand to be who i am and how i'm living anymore.
i try to talk to dh about this stuff, but it hurts his feelings cause he feels as though he's done something wrong or isn't good enough. i just can't get my point across without making him feel as bad as i do.
i'm going to lean on sparkpeople and my sparkfriends more than i ever have before. maybe that's my problem, i'm scared to ask for help and i don't use the tools that are at my disposal as much as i should be.
for tonight, i'm going to enjoy the company of my husband, eat drink and be merry. tomorrow i'll let jillian michaels kick my ass. that's a promise.