Going through some things this month.
I am trying to live a healthy lifestyle and I am failing to try hard enough. I have lost all of 4 pounds. I have worked out once when a friend cajoled me into the gym.
Took a hard look at my "budget" today using the SparkSavings Tool. OUCH.
UM... yeah I spent 360.00 on groceries and 212.00 on taking other people out to eat last month.
Don't get me wrong I ate it too... BUT I AM EATING MY MONEY!
Living a healthy lifestyle and eating fresh/good food is expensive. I have no excuses for going out to eat so much. I like spending time with my friends and I try to eat at better places but clearly I wasn’t eating very well last month. You know what is funny? I only recall one meal being particularly good and my Aunt bought it. It was soup and was only 9$.
I don't recall being this stupid before.
Also I have been very physically ill. I had some Chinese food that laid me flat. I have had a cough for a month that won’t go away and some “female” issues I don’t want to get into but suffice to say they suck.
I am tending to a sad friend and doing a poor job of it because I AM EXHAUSTED.
I am sad myself for various reasons mostly to do with having no money and no time to see my own ailing family who live in other towns. I am worried about them and I find myself in a place and time where leaving my job for an extended period is not a good idea. To be honest though with my cough I couldn’t go to see ANY of them. Too risky. I could have a virus or a bacteria that would literally kill them. No, not a good plan. Can’t be helped.
I am doing my best to stay positive or at least bring a good attitude to work. I realize that I am not giving it my best due to being ill and being depressed so I need to focus and try even harder when I am there to be upbeat and to do my very best. At this point I am just grateful to be able to crawl to work. I am not at my peek performance and that means I need to be even more diligent and attentive to my duties.
So when things gets you down what do you do? Cry yourself to sleep? NO!
Warriors act even if they are tired, even if they are sad, even if they are distracted.
I am strong! Even when I am sick. Even when I am tired. Even when I am sad. I AM STRONG!
Tonight I had a pow wow with my boyfriend AKA best friend and nailed the issues I am going through down.
I make way too much money to be this broke. Time to examine my finances. I should be able to afford a new car. I am going to focus on my household budget. Time to trim the excess from this necessity. As for going out. I am setting myself a reasonable budget and sticking to it. To expect to “never” go out is unreasonable but I can make it far more affordable.
As for being fat. Well fat doesn’t equal unhealthy. I know that. But feeling ill all the time and coughing isn’t normal and it isn’t healthy. That needs to be dealt with and meanwhile I will do my best not to Over or Under eat. I need to focus on my healthy lifestyle.
I will focus on getting 8 hours of sleep.
I will continue take my vitamins daily.
I will keep eating breakfast but focus on one with more fiber like oatmeal.
I will drink more water and vegetable juice and avoid pop and other sugars.
I will work out even if it is only 10 minutes a day it will help with my stress and help me sleep and feel better.
I will continue eating 6 small healthy meals a day at regular intervals.
I will avoid binge eating by eating power foods and working through my stress.
As for the rest of my life:
I will get a new doctor. I will pay for good service and I will get help for my health issues.
I will keep better track of my finances and save 1000$ over the next three months.
I will start writing an hour a day. It doesn’t matter about what but it is time I stopped bottling up my feelings and my creative nature.
Ok I feel better.... well mentally. The rest will come.
SO BE IT. I am strong.
The Tree Of Life by Crimson Vermillion AKA MissZ1