I started to write this as a comment in response to PELESJEWEL’s blog “Ticker Honesty & Control” (check out her always honest and inspiring words here: www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
Turns out I had more to say than I thought! Rather than sinking the comments section of her page with my ramblings, I thought I’d bring them home to roost, but it was clearly a topic that got me thinking.
When I came back to Spark in January of this year, my ticker still had a starting weight of 200 lbs – a relic from when I first decided I was "fat" and needed to lose weight (more than 5 years ago!) and had my first, ultimately short-lived, stint on SP.
I remember that long ago process of setting up the ticker in the first place. Choosing the icon and background I felt most represented me – the mighty sneaker, symbolising my love for running and sport, picturesque wilderness and mountains in the background, symbolising my love for… picturesque wilderness and mountains! I felt like it was a matter of just a little time, and a few minor tweaks to get that sucker over into goal land.
Fast forward to my return to SP in January - It took me almost a month of tracking to work up the courage to update it with my *actual* start weight (235! - what I wouldn’t give to be back at 200 now, LOL!). But once I did, I felt so much better! There it was. The truth. Out there for all to see! And the world didn't end or anything...
For months and months, I barely moved that traitorous little sneaker icon along the path to my goal, but now that it's starting to jog along, it feels so good, because I know that it is a true reflection of my journey and my progress. That ticker holds a lot! Things like:
almost 6 years of false starts, fluctuation, fits of well meaning frenzy, and all-time motivation lows.
the time I spent slipping from thinking I was "huge" at 200 to growing complacent and defeated at 215, 225, and then 235
my first few hard fought months back on Spark, when I barely moved the scale, but spent the time I needed getting my nutritional and fitness "house" back in order
The first ten pounds I've now lost on the way back to my 2005 "false-start" weight and, hopefully, beyond.
All the road that I still have left to cover to get to my final goal of 170, but also my determination and preparation to get there
Other people might just see a sneaker, barely edging it's way out of the forest, not even yet at the foot of the mountain it has to climb to get to its goal. Some people might even say, "Holy *snot* this girl is still really overweight! What's she so happy about?" But when I look at my ticker, I see that whole list of stuff, good and bad. All the things that got me here, and the things that'll get me through. It's a good looking little ticker.