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Ticker love?

Thursday, September 01, 2011

I started to write this as a comment in response to PELESJEWEL’s blog “Ticker Honesty & Control” (check out her always honest and inspiring words here:

Turns out I had more to say than I thought! Rather than sinking the comments section of her page with my ramblings, I thought I’d bring them home to roost, but it was clearly a topic that got me thinking.

When I came back to Spark in January of this year, my ticker still had a starting weight of 200 lbs – a relic from when I first decided I was "fat" and needed to lose weight (more than 5 years ago!) and had my first, ultimately short-lived, stint on SP.
I remember that long ago process of setting up the ticker in the first place. Choosing the icon and background I felt most represented me – the mighty sneaker, symbolising my love for running and sport, picturesque wilderness and mountains in the background, symbolising my love for… picturesque wilderness and mountains! I felt like it was a matter of just a little time, and a few minor tweaks to get that sucker over into goal land.
Fast forward to my return to SP in January - It took me almost a month of tracking to work up the courage to update it with my *actual* start weight (235! - what I wouldn’t give to be back at 200 now, LOL!). But once I did, I felt so much better! There it was. The truth. Out there for all to see! And the world didn't end or anything...
For months and months, I barely moved that traitorous little sneaker icon along the path to my goal, but now that it's starting to jog along, it feels so good, because I know that it is a true reflection of my journey and my progress. That ticker holds a lot! Things like:
emoticonalmost 6 years of false starts, fluctuation, fits of well meaning frenzy, and all-time motivation lows.
emoticonthe time I spent slipping from thinking I was "huge" at 200 to growing complacent and defeated at 215, 225, and then 235
emoticonmy first few hard fought months back on Spark, when I barely moved the scale, but spent the time I needed getting my nutritional and fitness "house" back in order
emoticonThe first ten pounds I've now lost on the way back to my 2005 "false-start" weight and, hopefully, beyond.
emoticonAll the road that I still have left to cover to get to my final goal of 170, but also my determination and preparation to get there

Other people might just see a sneaker, barely edging it's way out of the forest, not even yet at the foot of the mountain it has to climb to get to its goal. Some people might even say, "Holy *snot* this girl is still really overweight! What's she so happy about?" But when I look at my ticker, I see that whole list of stuff, good and bad. All the things that got me here, and the things that'll get me through. It's a good looking little ticker.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I, too, spent time setting up my ticker to relect who I was/am/want to be. But you are right: it is so much more than that.

    There are days I dread seeing my ticker; days when I know she's running backwards, instead of forwards; days when my knee hurts so bad I *know* my weight will be up because I've been unable to accomplish cardio; and days when I look at my ticker and think 'really? Four years in, and I'm still not at goal? What the heck?!'

    But there are days I get up, do my weigh-in, finish a pain-free run, eat a healthy breakfast, etc. and then practically skip to the computer to make friends with that little running girl, and those are the days that really matter.

    My little runner-girl is slowly and steadily winning her race, and so am I.

    And your little running shoe is faithfully bringing you closer to your goals as well. Together, you can accomplish anything!
    2245 days ago
    What a great blog! You are absolutely right, there is so much more there than just the numbers! I am on a somewhat similar journey, and although my ticker may not exactly be moving along rather speedily, I am also finally settling in and building the foundation to move it forward and over that mountain.

    You Go Girl!!!!!!
    2388 days ago
    That was so fantastic and SO SO SO true. It was like you pulled the words right out of my head. I remember my first ticker move. Holy cow I was motivated when I hit that first 10 pounds. Pissed when I couldn't get the damned thing to kick through (mine's emoticon ) the 200. Then the 180 plateau that last over 3 months. I hit 165 and then mike and I moved in together and life happened and when I came back this summer, it hurt like hell to move it back up to UGH 178. I think I'm more proud of the 8 pounds I re lost this summer cause I did it. emoticon

    Thanks for the insight and putting into words what I've been struggling to do so.

    Spark on Erika!!!!

    Rae emoticon
    2391 days ago
    This is a fantastic blog! I love the insight...
    2391 days ago
    emoticon AWESOME!! Priceless insight on your journey. You will get to goal with honesty fueling your way!
    2391 days ago
    You go girl!
    2392 days ago
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