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    DMORGAN1009   4,492
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Weight Loss w/ Depression & Anxiety Disorders


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with Major Depression & Anxiety Disorders. I've had many serious ups and downs, but since early this year I seem to be on a better medication.

Having Depression & Anxiety makes it really hard to lose weight. The loss of energy is probably one of the worst symptoms of Depression. So is the hopelessness & self criticism.

This past week I have not been feeling well. For some reason, I have been feeling overwhelmed and stressed. I think a lot of it has to do with the kids going back to school next week. It's a stressful time, especially for a single mom.

My Depression & Anxiety have prevented me from holding any type of job, and I am very lucky to have qualified for social security this last year. My friends think I have it made, but I would trade it all just not to have these disorders!

Doing laundry, going shopping, cooking meals, and etc. are so hard for me to do. Worst of all I can't multitask anymore to save my life!

These roadblocks are definitely hard to work through. Losing weight for me is a huge deal. Lately, I have been having a very hard time sticking to the calories and not over-eating. I think I am harder on myself then anyone I know. I weigh in tomorrow, and I am anticipating a weight gain. I surely deserve one.

I am hoping that no matter what the scale does, that I can accept it and move on. With Depression I tend to dwell on things longer than most. It is hard not to think of failing at weight loss, because to be honest I have failed at many things in life.

I probably would have given up already, but I see my kids and there are so many things that I want to do with them before they grow up. A lot of things that most kids should do, but unfortunately I am too overweight to do them. I know that I have mentioned Cedar Point, but other things such as fitting in the seats of a stadium to watch a game, or going camping and being able to comfortably sleep on the ground. Let's not mention that I'd love to take the kids to the Sand Dunes & I know that right now I am in no physical shape to do so.

All these things weigh on my mind as I go through my weight loss journey. I'm trying to learn how to live with my Depression & Anxiety, but this is seriously the hardest thing that I have ever encountered.

I just want to be the best me I can, and I know that right now I am not. I love the support on Spark People and I love being able to blog how I am feeling on any particular day.

I just wanted to share with my spark friends a little background into my life, and maybe some people can relate to the things I say.

Thank you everyone that reads my blogs, and for all the support you have given me. It really does help me on days that are tough and it seems like lately I've been having more and more. The last thing I want to do is gain the 10.5 pounds I have lost in the last month. It's a small success, but at this point I'll take any success that I can get!

Thank ya'll for listening.

Much love to you all! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
TRACY-M 2/4/2013 7:33AM

    I am so glad that I found this. I was diagnosed with a shopping list of psychological issues.. Major Depression, borderline personality disorder and anxiety were at the top of the list. It's nice to know that someone else can work through things and come to a positive place. Right now I feel so lost and like I'm fighting against myself all of the time.

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LITTLEKIM4 9/3/2011 8:57PM

    I was diagnosed with clinical depression about 15 years ago. I took medication for probably 10-12 years. There was a point, I remember it took too much effort to eat a sandwich. Now, I'm doing pretty well, but I do remember what it was like to not have the energy to do the most basic tasks. Even the simplest thing can seem so overwhelming. Forgive yourself for not being perfect, and just keep trying the best you can. And if you can summon the energy to get in a little exercise, it might help. I have found that exercise really helps me to stay on an even keel. I also have a friend who can't take anti-depressants because she has a reaction to them, so she "has" to exercise to combat her depression.

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DMORGAN1009 8/31/2011 5:46PM

    Thanks Ladies! The scale won today and I gained 3.4 pounds, but I can honestly say I deserved this one. Next week is going to be different. I have found my motivation! YAHOO! emoticon

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TMCLEOD4 8/31/2011 10:18AM

    Don't get upset about the scale. Just keep on trying. Depression I know about, not so much anxiety. It can be very debilitating! I usually find getting outside helps. Some fresh air and sunshine does me a lot of good. (I live in the Seattle area, so it never gets too hot to enjoy the sun)
I'm rooting for you all the way!! You are very worth it! You deserve this! You will succeed!!

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MICHIGANLORI 8/31/2011 8:36AM

    Depression & Anxiety is a tough road. We are all here for you. emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/31/2011 9:01:49 AM

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BESTCK 8/31/2011 7:28AM

    First, 10.5 lbs is not a SMALL success. That's a very great success. Also, if the scale reads that you have gained this week, do not think it's because you do or don't DESERVE it. The scale doesn't judge, it just gives facts at a point in time. People like us, who deal with depression on a daily basis know that weight goes up and down sometimes, regardless of what we, ourselves, are doing.

If you find you are struggling most with staying within your calorie range, can you try to focus on your exercise instead? This might be easier if you have young children. Take them to a park to run around while you walk the perimeter or play ball with them or just dance around your living room? Exercise really does make us feel better.

You might also want to look at your goals and maybe change them so you have more calories per day. You might lose weight more slowly, but if you're more consistently successful in the long run, that's better for your motivation.

I hope that being here, in this non-judgmental environment, brings just a little sunshine into your life. I don't think there's anyone here who has done this perfectly from day one, the first time. We all struggle and need help.

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BECKY3774 8/31/2011 6:42AM

    All you can do is keep trying. keep putting one foot in front of the other. There will be times that you keep tripping, but if you keep moving, you're sure to make it eventually. I'm here for you, and so are all of your other spark friends! emoticon emoticon

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45WENDY 8/30/2011 11:31PM

    I too have been diagnosed with major clinical depression and anxiety disorder. Feeling like a vegetable with no energy and no motivation is a sympton of these disorders. So we do not have total control of these symptoms and yet we critize ourselves the most for them. Its not our fault. We are not helpless or hopeless. Small steps, small goals and being kind to yourself. You have alot on your plate as a single Mom and you are doing the best you can for them. Keep hopeful and take small steps and if you can...pat yourself on the back for them. Best Wishes from a fellow 'survivor'. emoticon

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