Thursday, August 25, 2011
It has been such a long while since I thought about blogging. So many dynamics have changed in my life and now it is time to step on a new path and that new chapter unfolds.
I finished moving out of my home yesterday and today has been a melt down day as all the memories are left behind. It is bittersweet because the day I came home from the hospital when my husband died - the house no longer felt like a home and I felt nothing but aching loneliness there. However, everything that I had there will remain a vivid and loving memory of where our love grew and where life together was no more.
So now I begin anew - I write a new story as each day passes and find my place in the world - a world I have not experienced in a very long time. My son and I talked the other day about the fact that I have spent the last 30 years of my life caring for 2 very special and unique people and now it is time for me to see the world for the first time. It is a place I have not found complete comfort in but a place that lends much excitement. I feel like a young girl just going out into the world for the first time and yes it is exciting and I look forward to what my life will be like as I move forward.
To take this on a different direction - life priorities have been in my way and my fitness has been virtually non-existant, and yet it has been a wonderful respite from the fitness life I was living. I have spoken before about living with such intensity of fitness and with such restriction and I suffered greatly from that because it had gone on so long. The respite has been good for me and it helps me realign where I want my fitness goals now.
I am in love with the fact that I accomplished much and I will forever continue to accomplish much but with a different direction now. I now want to experience life and will always remain fit but it matters not to me to walk around in competition shape year round - been there, done that. I have hopes that the many who want and continue to want for things that just don't fit them can recognize that it is okay to not follow along with the majority - but to do what feels right in their lives at the time.
I have fulfillment in my heart with where my life has been and all that I have done for others and all that I have done for myself - I feel good about me and that is what my wish is for everyone as they endeavor on their own life journey's. Always think about what you want from the depths of your being and do what is right for you, not what is right for others. Be happy with who you are and what you have to give yourself and your life around you - I am so blessed to feel the way I do today and you have but to live out your dream. Aspire to be YOU and ONLY YOU.
LIFE holds all the pleasures and dreams that we wish to achieve - we only need to go make them come true - I am endeavoring to do that. Life is a dream and I wish to make it mine - it will be mine. Keep those thoughts in your heart and in your mind and everything you want will be yours if you reach out and take it.