Worn out, took a break, back to it
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Well, after recording that I was losing momentum in week 6, I was unable to stop a 2-day break from tracking my goals. I believed I was too tired.
Looking back today, I'm pleased that if I went over my 1500 calorie cap, it was not by much. If I didn't exercise, I thought long and hard about it (then laid down!).
While out walking today, I looked back and saw that my husband has been more uncomfortable in bed, and waking me more to help shift him. I'm seeing that his paralysis from ALS is weakening his torso now, so it's just getting harder to roll him without getting up on my hands and knees. Then, since he's been so uncomfortable, I've been spending time trying to rub knots out of his back. So while I used to be able to roll him practically in my sleep, I'm really up and exerting myself several times a night.
After 5 days of this, waking 4-5 times a night, I was back to sleep deprivation so profound that I was having trouble staying awake driving a short 30 -minute trip in the morning. Ugh, this was depressing, too.
Last night, dear husband tried and kept the turnovers to only twice last night, and I felt measurably better today. I don't encourage this, but he feels bad for me.
Today we both researched adjustable beds, like a hospital bed, but bigger so we can still sleep together. Life looked easier today, and I was back on plan.
I find I still need daily Spark time to not only record but reflect on my journey. In this case, I couldn't see why I was waning in my healthy living zeal until I got completely worn down. I was thinking I was just losing dedication.
But I haven't lost dedication at all! I feel great! I'm still losing very slowly, less than a pound a week, but faster than I was all times before because I'm not overeating 3-4 days a week, I'm exercising every day, and I'm essentially off of sweets.
This is making it easier to track triggers. It's pretty easy to see that I am not one who can keep chocolate or forms of cookies, etc. without overeating. I hang on to that promise of 10 minutes a day exercise. I think, looking back, I'm going to try harder for that 10 when I'm very tired.
This is the first time every that I've got food and exercise in balance, and I'm excited about it. My clothes fit better, and I feel better. So, there is nothing to lose by making this my lifestyle.
A couple days without tracking or exercise did not derail me--in fact, I was eager to correct things so I could return to tracking and meeting my goals.
Here I am!